The Princess Fangirl: Re-crowned

Personality

So lately my own personality has been confusing me a little.

On one hand I'm a sweet little innocent cinnamon roll who obeys her parents, wants everyone to be happy, is super smiley, and polite. I'd never hurt anyone on purpose ever, think that everyone deserves a chance unless they've done something really, really bad, and that everyone's opinion deserves to be respected. I would never swear, never make a dirty joke, I can't even say the word that rhymes with rex. I make sure my parents approve if a song before I add it to my playlist and love hugs and talking to people.

On the other hand and at the same time I always notice the dirty jokes and want to laugh. I want to rebel and end up doing so subtly so my parents barely even notice. I love sarcasm and sass and constantly want to say the sassy and sarcastic things I say out loud. I often have to fight the urge to lash out, either in the form of yelling or punching. I get really mad at people opinions sometimes when they really are of no consequence to me, like if they like VT or not. I really don't care about swearing, who decided that swear words were swear words anyway? My resting face is a frown which I'm perfectly fine with, but my mom says it makes me look unfriendly and grumpy (which I most likely am). I don't want people to touch me and sometimes I just want the whole world to shut up.

Like, I have a persona I put on around other people and then there's the me in my head, but I'm both ways? I hate swearing but also don't care at all? I love people but just want to be left alone? I would never rebel but am quite rebellious? I like to come across as happy and pure but also want people to know I'm usually grumpy and done? I'm super afraid of what people think of me but at the same time couldn't care less?

Teenagerdom is confusing.