waking up with a heaviness among my soul.
thoughts creep in slowly, but i gotta stay focused.
numbing my pain away as i smoke and drink didn't do shit for me.
other then helped me try to have a good time.
the only band-aids i have to heal the internal scars is my poetry.
i don't hav a full fledge army of money.
to pay big pharma to take this pain i feel away.
the pain i feel....is engulfed with self-doubt and worry.
i don't even feel that my purpose serves any good among this earth.
ive lived for the love of my life way too long....but i get so fucking bored alone
not that i don't know how to be alone, but my thoughts alone puts me in the mood to sleep as early as possible to fully get my brain to shut the fuck up
concentrating should not be this fucking hard. living my life should not be this difficult.
i want in on the joy of the birds that sing when their surroundings are not destroyed by capitalism.
joy of a little black girl hugging her father from being on duty for a country who ironically has tried to destroy his character for 4 cenetries with miseducation, white supremacy and systematic oppression
more joy then the air being cleaned by renewable energy.
my winds are hurting. and mother nature shall not take the shit no more. the rath she feels boils inside her soul, which is why its called global warming. my rath feels her pain. being taking advantage of for so many years, all i ever know to do is be alone. the structure of life is weird and that's just how it is. all i want is the structure hat's right for me
