mon amour (sequel to bonjour) •joshler•

deux

josh suddenly flinched as he was harshly met with a sting of pain being slapped across his face. his mouth cried out a short yelp, holding his right cheek in his hand. he was sure it left a mark.

"you did what?!" his friend screamed, now completely frustrated with the pained boy in front of him.

"ow brendon what the hell?"

"yeah? you're lucky i didn't do anything worse!"

josh opened his mouth to speak, but was rudely cut off by an aggressive brendon. "in what right mind would that be okay?! how could you do that to him?"

"i didn't mean to - i-i didn't know what i was doing i was just so frustrated with this whole thing that's going on i just - i took it out on him okay!" josh ran a hand through his hair, sitting himself down on his friends couch. he felt completely useless.

"whether you were mad at the situation or not you had no right to make him feel that way! god i can't - like - are you fucking serious?" brendon struggled with his anger, trying to find the right words to say to hopefully put his friend back in his place, "i still can't get this through my head how you treated him like shit and then just walked off"

"i was stressed okay! what was i supposed to do? just stay there while he just sobs?"

brendon let his hands shoot outwards, "yes! that's exactly what you should've done!"

josh awoke in a cold sweat, his heart beat fast as if he were reliving the same anxiety induced argument. he looked to his right, hoping tyler would be there to ask what was wrong. however all that was next to him was a dull wall and some sheets, something he had come accustomed to.

"tyler?" he breathed, reaching around to see if he was still next to him.

nothing.

"tyler? where'd you go?" he asked, now sitting up unable to fall back asleep, "oh yeah" he rubbed his eye, "you're in france"

it was moments like these where josh didn't understand why he remembered little parts of tyler and who he was or where he came from. some days all that he knew was a name, a foreign name that might as well be in a different language, yet it boomed inside his skull. other days he would bring him up in conversation. such as,

"hey mom do you remember when tyler and i went on the ferris wheel?"

his mom would raise her eyebrows and pretended to act like that was normal. she didn't know whether to answer yes or no, so she would laugh it off awkwardly, thinking it was some type of weird memory trick her son used.

some days josh was better, some days tylers name wouldn't come up at all. but then that night he would dream of the boy trying to skateboard or almost kissing him for the first time, and realizing it's gone and forgotten.

josh looked beside him, a beaming red lettered digital clock staring back at him.

5:33am

"tyler?"

"mhm?"

josh felt his puffed eyes water once more, "i love you.

so fucking much."

a shaky breath left his throat as his imagination began toying with him. he hated this. he hated that clock. he hated that time. he hated it so much that he threw the damn thing across his room, causing a slight boom to echo through the walls.

he felt himself getting lost again. he felt himself lose breath.

jordo: what was that

jordan.

josh had hardly remembered he was back from college. then again, he hardly remembers anything. why was his brother awake? he didn't know. nor did he care.

jordo: is there an intruder

jordo: do i need to beat someone up for u

josh sighed, picking up his phone from a nearby desktop.

no i threw my clock it's fine

jordo: why the fuck did you throw your clock at five am

why the fuck are you awake at five am

jordo: bc college and i hate myself

jordo: also hey why the fuck did you throw your clock

also hey since when did you get so nosy

jordo: ouch

jordo: hey wait go to bed you have school today

ok mom

wait

can u put me out of my misery rlly quick

jordo: lol go to bed

i can't tho

i need u to punch me in the face

jordo: go to bed

i just TOLD U i CANTT

jordo: at least try

no bc then i'll dream and dreaming these days sucks

jordo: depends what you dream about

exactly

all my dreams suck

jordo: you need sleep go to bed

ur a bitch

jordo: ):

josh sighed, closing his eyes once more. yet he soon regretted going back to sleep, for all he heard was that menacing voice.

"joshua?"