How I don't like tea

A Hard Question

I woke up the next morning to find German's feet in my face. I really hate feet. Moving away from them, I notice this is my fault as I'm sleeping the wrong way round. I sit up lie back down in the right way, away from feet.

As I flop onto the pillow, German begins to stir.

"Morning Sleepyhead." I say to him as I stroke his hair back from his face.

"I'm not the Sleepyhead for once actually." he says as he opens his eyes, "You were immensely restless all night. You just couldn't stay still."

"That explains my face full of feet this morning then." I said with a chuckle.

Since we are both awake, I decide to lie on his chest like I usually do. It allows him to play with my hair while we talk and I enjoy it so much. The moment I'm lying on him, he begins to play with my hair so I close my eyes and relax and just enjoy our closeness. I enjoy being so close to German. I feel completely safe beside him.

"I have something to ask you." says German as he continues to run his fingers through my hair.

"Ask anything." I say, completely happy with our little universe.

"Well, I have been trying to ask for two months. Before we married, before the honeymoon, before the show, something has always seen to take priority or I'd forget, but yesterday I remembered and now I know that I just cannot forget it again."

I think about this a moment and remember how German so badly wanted to speak to me but never had the chance. I feel rather bad about how I've managed to be too busy to speak to my husband about something important to him.

"I'm sorry," I reply, "It's all my fault, I've been so distracted, but I'm here now and I'm all yours."

He is looking me straight in the eyes and admittedly he looks rather nervous but once I smile at him, it seems to fade, so I shrug it off.

"I was thinking about how old Violetta is getting, about how fast she's growing up." he says still messing up my hair.

"I know. I cannot believe that she has only a few months left at the studio. I have no idea what she'll do after that."

I really mean that. I really think she will get a record deal and tour the world, but I won't say it. Those words only bring bad memories.

"I know you're thinking the same as me." says German, "We know we can't prevent that."

"I wouldn't want to prevent her success," I say honestly, "Just we both know that there will always be the worry."

German nods understandingly.

"Anyway, I'm going off topic."

I chuckle a little, our conversations always go off topic, more often then not.

"We're not old-"

I cut him off.

"We better not be! I'm 28 and your 37! If that's old!" I'm shocked. I am not old. We are not old.

German is laughing.

"Don't cut me off!" says German still laughing, "I was going to say, we're not old, but with Violetta leaving in the next two years or so, we are going to seem very old, aren't we? With no one to look after?"

This sinks in for a moment. With Violetta out of the house, we'd be like an old couple whose kids had left home. Besides work and being together, what would we do? Most of our days revolve around Violetta.

German can see I am thinking so leaves me to my thoughts for a moment. I can see however that he is desperate to tell me something so I smile at him to indicate I'm done.

Since he is now happy I have thought about it, he has his say.

"So, I was thinking, what if we...... We could............ It would be hard......... Worth it! Errm.... I mean........ We're not too old! It's perfect..... right?"

I gave him a confused look. I had no idea what he was trying to say.

"None of that made sense?" he says worried.

"Not one bit I'm afraid." I say stroking his hair, "But it's okay. Give me the simple version."

German took a deep breath.

"Give me a minute?" he says anxiously.

"Of course." I say kissing him on the nose.

I then lean back on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It's quite fast and frantic so clearly whatever he is going to ask he is worried about. It's quite fast for several minutes but then it begins to slow and it comes to a steady beat. As his heart beat steadies, I look up.

German stares me directly in the eye and I can tell he is worried. I close my eyes, so he will calm down so there is not the pressure of me watching him.

"Would you consider having a baby?"