How I don't like tea

A Mother

 I walk anxiously down the corridor cradling Lilliana in my arms. German walks alongside me worried. Violetta trails behind us.

"Angie, I should never have told you." he says clealry worried about me.

"Never should have told me that my mother is dying? German I needed to know, you did the right thing, but now I need to see her."

"Angie please, Violetta and I missed the birth yesterday because we were with her, we don't have to spend anymore time with her." says German knowing how scared I am.

"You don't have to, but I do." I reply, "German, she's still my mother."

"Angie, yesterday she could hardly speak, I don't know if it will do you any good to see her."

I sighed, "It may not, but I still have too."

German lead me to her room and when we arrived, he paused outside the door. I did too and I held Liliana close to my chest.

I'm her mother now and I'm going to take care of her, just like my mother was always did.

I sighed but then passed Liliana to German.

"Give me a minute?" I say as he gazes at Liliana.

"Of course." he says clamly, although I know he is not very happy.

I enter the room and I see my Mother looking at the wall opposite. Her eyes twitch and she seems to be barely keeping them open.

"Mum?" I say as I walk in slowly.

"Angeles, you're here." she says, her twitching eyes now tearing slightly.

"Of course I'm here, why wouldn't I be?" I ask as I come up beside her.

"Lots of reasons. I don't deserve to have you beside me." she says sadly.

I put my hand on hers and it is extreamly cold.

"I love you mum." I say as I feel like it will be the last time she ever hears it.

"I love you too." she says, "I'm so sorry for everything that's happened between us."

"Me too." I say as tears form in my eyes.

"I really wish I was there. To see my second grandchild be born. I saw Violetta's birth, I was there for Maria. I should have been there for you Angie."

"You can still be here for me." I say sadly, "Do you want to meet your granddaughter?"

My mothers eyes are filled with tears, "It's a girl? And... she's here?" 

"Right outside with German and Violetta." I say smiling, "I'd love you to meet her."

My mother smiles, "I'd love to meet her too."

I smiled and quickly nipped to the door. I opened it wide and signalled for German and Violetta to come in and as they did, I took Liliana from German.

"This is your granddaughter," I say bringing her over, "Lilliana Jane Castillo."

I place her in my mother's arms and my mother begins to cry.

"Oh little one." she says, "I have so much to say."

Violetta, German and I just watch as my mother speaks to Lilliana.

"First, I should say that your situation is a bit crazy, but it's perfect. I was so stupid. I didn't see it, but when I see you, I know how wrong I was. I'm such a fool, little one and I hope you and your family can forgive me for the way I acted."

"Also, I'd like to say, that you are so lucky to have such an amazing family. Your big sister loves you unconditionally. Your Daddy will always protect you and your Mummy? Well your Mummy will be a lot of things, but mostly she will treasure you, for you are the most important thing to her. Don't ever forget that, how much your family love you, don't forget it like I did."

"I'd also like to say, that I love you very much too, as does your aunt Maria. We will always love you and one day when I finally get to see you and speak to you properly, I will tell you all the things I wish I could have done with you. Oh little one, I know that I won't be around much longer and although it hurts to admit it, I know it is the truth."

"I love you."

My mothers eyes begin to droop and my heart beats fast. Through my tears, I notice that her chest settles. Lilliana lays on top of her chest and squirms as this happens.

Then Lilliana cries. One piercing cry.

Then I knew she was gone.

Everyone in the room is bewildered waiting for confirmation and seconds later, the machine watching her pulse stops and a beep screams through the room.

She was gone and I knew it for sure. I fell to the floor in a heap, crying.

I looked up and through my tears, I saw a nurse had entered the room to see what was happening. She looked over at Violetta for guidance, but Violetta had tears streaming down her cheeks too as she rocked Lilliana in her arms.

I'm such a terrible mother already.

Tears are now so strong that I can no longer see, but I cam feel German's stromg embrace wrap around me and lift me from the floor.