Insane. [Jookyun]

Seven

Changkyun was sure love doesn't just happen over night. You're not supposed to just fall in love the second you see someone. You're not supposed to want to listen to them sing you to sleep, or pet your hair, or remind you that you're okay. Changkyun thought love was just something that develops over time.

Funny enough, he had been proven wrong a lot lately.

Changkyun woke up to the sun filtering through the curtains. He blinked slowly, staring up at the ceiling. It definetly wasn't his own. It wasn't his room, it wasn't his bed, and it wasn't his house. An arm threw it's self across his chest, and soft flesh pressed against his shoulder.

Every thing from the night before flooded back. He let Jooheon fuck him. No, he begged for it. He whined when at first Jooheon was reluctant. Changkyun lived for all the control slowly being taken away from him, leaving him without any power at all.

Except now he was lying in his friend's bed with just boxers on and having to live with the fact that they fucked and can never go back.

Jooheon pressed his cheek further against Changkyun's shoulder, groaning and mumbling something along the words of "Kyunnie, let me hold you. I'm cold." Words after that he couldn't exactly decifer.

Okay, so maybe Changkyun liked being in control until the point where he got it completely taken from him. He liked being pushed around. He liked Jooheon babying him after and gently kissing the marks he had accidently made. Jooheon was soft at heart, but by no means was he going to let Changkyun have all the power. The younger didn't mind that at all.

Changkyun carefully pried Jooheon off of him and pushed him to the side of the bed. He wanted to laugh at how his blonde curls flopped on his forehead and bounced softly. He dragged himself off the bed and over to the dresser. He picked up his phone up from on top of it.

7 Missed Calls From Hyungwonnie

Changkyun breathed out, "fuck."

The clock read 8:58 AM, and Changkyun sighed loudly before taking his phone with him back to the bed. He pulled the blankets over him and slipped Jooheon's arm around him so he could have his back pushed against Jooheon's chest. It was warm, and honestly he could've fallen back asleep if it wasn't for the facts that Hyungwon called him seven times and that he still had no idea how to define his relationship with Jooheon.

Friends do not fuck.

Changkyun sighed. He had been proven wrong about that too.

Changkyun completely fucked up everything that he had going for him. With all of his willpower, he dragged himself out of the bed, pulled on his clothes, and left Jooheon. He couldn't stand another second of being reminded what he had done.

-

"Why do you look sad?" Hyungwon asked, playing with Changkyun's hair.

They are peacefully basking in the sun outside of the university because Hyungwon brought the younger lunch before his next class. Changkyun's head rested in his lap. It was domestic. Changkyun's heart ached because he wished it was someone else. He just left Jooheon yesterday by his own choice, so why was he the one hurting.

Probably because you want Jooheon to be the one babying you. What the fuck, Changkyun.

Changkyun released the breath he was holding. "I'm just really tired," he softly whispered.

They knew it was a lie, but Hyungwon didn't press him. He simply hummed as a response and stared at the passing university students.

Changkyun hated himself. He fucked everything up. Jooheon hadn't called or texted because he probably felt used. Only one night stands just leave after sex, and that's exactly what Changkyun did. He didn't leave a note or anything, and now he was suffering the consequences.

"It got messy yesterday," Hyungwon commented lazily. "Fuck, man, you should've been there. It was a fucking wild night. The guy threw me against the wall and tried to kill me. You should've seen his face when I fucking stabbed him. It was so funny."

Changkyun rubbed his eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with us? I have another personality inside of me. I don't know which one is the real me."

"Who cares? I.M is better anyways. Besides, if you're still sulking about that Yooheon kid, it's over."

"Jooheon," Changkyun corrected before slapping Hyungwon's hands away and sitting up. "I can't kill him and I can't love him. What am I supposed to do?"

Hyungwon simply shrugged and gracefully pulled his body off of the ground. "You need to figure out who you are. And who's side you're on. If you're not on mine....well you know what happens."

Like what happened with Yoonho?

Changkyun did nothing but watch as Hyungwon eyed him up and down before walking away. Hyungwon didn't trust him. Weren't they best friends? After time and time again of murdering people, Hyungwon still believed Changkyun wouldn't keep his secret.

He knew that even if he went to the police to report him as a killer, there'd be no proof besides his word against Hyungwon's. Hyungwon was flawless. He was careful with gloves and his clothes. He had a strange obsession with voice disguisers. He was the perfect killer. Changkyun was just his assistant.

And equally guilty of murdering people.

He wasn't sure he actually felt guilty though. Sure, society frowned upon violence, but Changkyun relyed on it. He didn't see a real issue of hurting others if it got him what he wanted. He couldn't feel sympathy or empathy.

The only time he felt guilty was when he hurt Jooheon. He wanted to Jooheon to hurt him back because maybe he'd feel better.

But he reminded himself he couldn't date Jooheon or be friends with him. He fucked up.

He stared at his lap, suddenly interested in the small darker spots that began landed on his white jeans. He was crying. He bit his lip and stayed silent. He pulled at his own hair in frustration.

He wasn't supposed to get feelings for someone. That was not part of his plan. He wasn't supposed to fall in love the moment he saw Jooheon. The plan was to kill him. He was not supposed to want his arms wrapped tightly around him or for the other to spoil him. He was dangerous for Jooheon, and he would probably kill him.

He let out a soft sigh and wiped the tears off of his face, unaware a blonde male was watching him only a few feet away.

A/n: idk im tired, really really tired.
I posted a new work where I post ideas / half written fics. The first one is Jookyun so yeah go check it out lol