Insane. [Jookyun]

Eight

I want to be selfish with you. I want to take you from your life and call you mine, and only mine. I want to hide you in my closet and lock you away from anyone else. I want to shield you from all the bad things in the world. I want you to be mine, and absolutely no one else's.

Changkyun tapped his finger nervously against the steering wheel. He was in university, how could he not be able to go in the damn grocery store without having a mental breakdown?! He slammed his head against the steering wheel and groaned loudly. Hyungwon sighed and patted his shoulder from the passenger seat.

"I really don't know what you're freaking out about," Hyungwon lazily commented.

The younger glared at him. "Did you accidently get a drop of blood on your white t-shirt?"

"Look, we are out of bleach which means we can't finish up the cleaning job. That's why he's in the trunk in the first place. Get in there and get bleach, gloves, and a shovel so we can get this over with." Hyungwon handed him his wallet. "Go on."

Changkyun sighed and dragged himself into the grocery store. He knew it was a bad idea to go with Hyungwon on one of his bad days. Now, he was stuck with a dead guy in their trunk.

He avoided eye contact with anyone and went to find bleach.

Can't Hyungwon do this himself?!

He reached to grab it, but froze in his spot when he heard a voice.

"Changkyun?"

He bit his lip and glanced over at the male. Jooheon in all his glory stood there. He looked casual in tight blue jeans and a red hoodie. His hair was a bit messy and completely unstyled, but Changkyun liked him like that.

Jooheon's eyes traveled down to the spot on Changkyun's long sleeve, and Changkyun saw his visably gulp. He looked like he couldn't form words in his brain, so Changkyun spoke.

"Hey, I haven't seen you around," he said as strongly as he could.

All he could think about was how it felt to have his head in between those thighs and how the other softly praised him.

Fuck, he had a really bad praise kink. Especially when it came to Jooheon.

Jooheon stepped closer and lowered his voice. Changkyun saw the hurt in his eyes. "Why did you leave?" He reached over to rub his thumb against the red stain. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm dangerous, Jooheon. Please, don't make this harder," he managed to choke out. His voice was barely steady.

"I don't care! I want you, Changkyun. I want to cuddle you when you have a rough day. I want to see how cute you look in my clothes. I want to fucking wreck you and having you begging under me. I don't care about anything, you know." He cupped the others face, causing him to whimper. His voice lowers to a whisper. "I don't care if you hurt me, or even kill me."

Changkyun shoved him back by his chest. Jooheon stumbled and nearly hit the shelf.

"Don't you get it! I don't want to hurt you! Please just leave me alone," Changkyun hissed. "I don't know how to be in a relationship or even function with people! How can you still want to be around? What the fuck is wrong with you?'!"

Jooheon looked hurt. Not the, fuck I lost the love of my life look, but the other if you do this, I'll never forgive you look. Changkyun had seen it on Hyungwon's face a time or too, like the time Changkyun threatened to turn them in when he couldn't take it anymore. Or the time Yoonho quietly asked if he could leave and not speak to them again.

"I can help, I-"

"You can't do anything, Jooheon. I'm not allowing blood to taint your hands, and I'm certainly not allowing Hyungwon to get close to you. Sometimes, people just need to part ways. I don't know what to do, I don't know what's right or what's wrong anymore, I don't-" He was cut off by a pair of lips smashing into his own, yet Jooheon immeditely pulled back. He kept an arm around Changkyun to keep him in place.

"Don't do this. Don't just walk away. You're so selfcentered. You think you're the only one being affected by this?"

His guard fell. The person he was pretending to be slipped away. "Please take me away," Changkyun breathed against the other's lips. "I don't want to do this anymore."

If life was like a movie, Changkyun would've been taken to Jooheon's home. He would've gotten over his will to kill, and he'd never see Hyungwon again. They would be happy, maybe even have a family. But movies don't portray the truth.

"Then let me help. Who cares if I taint my hands? I want you to let me hold you and tell you that I love you. If you can let me love you, then I'll help you. I'll teach you how to get over wanting to hurt people. Please just let me."

And Changkyun gave him the impression that he was going to let him.

Jooheon led Changkyun out to his car. They didn't exchange words, and when they were buckled in and Jooheon started the car, the younger spoke up.

"I'm sorry."

The small item his pocket felt like it was burning his skin. He hated it, hated himself for bringing it. He hated Hyungwon for suggesting it, and hated himself for thinking it.

Jooheon turned to face him. "For what? Anyways, we are going to go to my house."

God, I'm so so so sorry.

Changkyun stared at his face for a moment before slipping his hand into his own pocket.

I'm sorry, Jooheon.

A/n: i just wanna cuddle and die.
But instead i ended up updating this and not editing it so its shit im s o r r y
Anyways, tomorrow or like next week, im gonna edit this lol so y e a h , midterms start friday, gotta blast