The Remembering (Alex Gaskarth Fanfiction)

2. Death Stares

 Chapter 2 - Death Stares

   I had always been scared of anything that dealt with boys, or more like nervous but still terrified. Boys were such weird creatures honestly. Especially teenage boys, more especially boys who could break girls' hearts with a finger snap so easily. That was something to be scared about.

   I never had a boyfriend. Or did my pet lizard count at all? Probably not. I never had my first kiss. Yes, I, Laila Grey hadn’t kiss a boy yet. I don't think many boys even acknowledged me anyway. I was always left in the dust, although, I had been on a god awful date once. It was obstinately awkward and the worst hour of my life. Besides, who would want to go out with a girl that doesn't even speak?

     This left me to where I was now; lunch. I was sitting in the back, at a lunch table that was just a girl from my History class and me. I directed my attention towards Alex, who was eating alone at a table that was directly in my eyesight.

   For some strange reason, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He was incredibly handsome. I was surprise that he didn’t have girls flocking around him yet. He will probably soon. But he was too beautiful to have the personality he had. Even for the short encounter I experienced with him. His facial expression was sketch into my mind. Maybe he was having a bad day.

    In the corner of my eye, I see Jack Barakat making his way to his table. Jack was very lanky and had skunk looking spiked up hair. He was always energetic along with being talented with musical instruments. I was surprised that Alex even made acquaintance with him at all.

   He looked annoyed as Jack sat down with a goofy smile. The grumpy face that Alex held was amusing to look at. Honestly, how could one be that grumpy-looking when they were sitting next to Jack Barakat?

Next, Rian sat at the table as well. Considering he was best friends with Jack, it didn’t surprise me.

   My cheeks flushed at the sudden thought of what I was doing. Am I really stalking Alex? God what is wrong with me?

   Alex, without warning, made eye contact with me. My eyes immediately look down at my food. My stomach turned upside down, a tight uneasy feeling making me nauseous.

   Why was I acting this way? I was acting like I had a school crush on Alex. Well...Maybe I did.

    When I dared to look back, I could tell Alex was talking about me. I easily read his lips. He was asking who I was. I automatically knew what Jack and Rian would say. It was the generic of what anyone would describe me as.

  "Oh she's Laila, she's mute."

  "Mute? What do you mean mute?"

  "She doesn't speak, although she's very kind and gentle."

   That was the basic way of how people talked upon me. I didn't mind at all, it was better than having someone talk bad about me. Over the years I grew used to it. I was practically familiar to everything it seemed now and days. It came natural almost. Well it was for speaking wise. I was only comfortable with speaking to my brother or my Dad most of the time.

    They understood was the thing. Everyone goes through a personal Hell; something that they always think about when the clock hits one during the night. It will creep into their mind like it always does and tear their mind down. It will make them cry and feel like they were alone; alone on a battle that seemed useless to even fight.

That was a part of my personal hell.

     My one in the morning o'clock thinking of my personal hell crept into my mind during the day, in class, when I will be eating lunch. Or to when I might be listening to music. No matter what, it was still there. That' was when you know it was pretty fucked up. And it is.