Chapter 37- Home
After Alex left, I decided to call my brother, telling him that I was too sick to go on with the day. Today couldn't have gotten any worse and all I wanted was my bed...once again. I hated being this vulnerable but then again, I had no one to blame but myself. Maybe if I didn't punch Brenna, and instead talked it out with Alex that night, then maybe I wouldn't be on my way back home, heart broken, and missing another day of school.
Surely, the school will be calling my father about my long time absence. My father had been surprisingly accepting and understanding during that damn week of hell, but had to draw the line and tell me to go to school, since it was turning up to be a new week.
With my brother's and I's luck, we were stuck in traffic due to a car accident just up the road. Derek had kept quiet, not digging any further into my depressing situation, which I was thankful for. I knew he was trying his best not to be pissed at the current deadlock of the cars ahead of us – he had a college class to attend in twenty minutes.
The snow only made things seemingly worse, which a downpour of snowflakes had begun merely five minutes ago.
I laid my head against the foggy cold window, allowing myself to doze off to pass the time. Alex was still presently on my mind, the way he held me, and what he told me wouldn’t leave me alone. There was just a gut feeling of knowing that we would end up together once again, in a matter of time hopefully. It could be tomorrow for all I know, or in ten years. I just need to have some type of reassurance that I actually can control my random impulsive actions.
That’s what the problem was.
I’m constantly running away from problems that I’ve created that wouldn’t be even such a thing if I wasn’t so reckless with what I say and do. I’m overthinking too much and condoning things that should not be condone over. Consequences are never my worries until the action is said and done.
I’ve been in such denial over me being impulsive and self-destructive that I’ve permitted hurting everything that I ever loved. Which all of this, is why I’m in this damn car and why I am where I am in this given moment.
“Derek,” I breathlessly said.
“What?” He said, clearly still annoyed by the unmoving traffic.
“I need you to tell the truth.” I begged with all my heart. I needed to hear this, not just from Alex, or anyone else, but from Derek. “Do I have Impulsive Control Disorder?”
Suddenly, the air around us became thick and dense while I waited for his response. His chest started to move up and down rapidly. A sign that he was hesitating and was thrown off guard from my plead of wanting to be enlightened.
“What makes you think that?” He scoffed with an unease crooked smile. He wasn’t fooling anyone. “Don’t be silly, Laila.”
Of course, I should have known. He was using my biggest pet peeve to make me forget what was asked. He was treating me like a damn child, which sparked a fire inside me.
“No.” I sternly spoke. “Tell me right now, Derek.”
His head was staring off into the opposite direction of me, avoiding eye contact. He was taunting me in the most aggravating way possible.
“Laila, we’re not having this conversation in the car.” He advised, stalling a potential confession.
“Oh hell we are.” I shot back.
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The Remembering (Alex Gaskarth Fanfiction)
Fanfiction“She looked up at the stars while I stared into her dreamy eyes that had the reflection of the twinkling stars. In that moment, I realized she wasn't my world and she wasn't the center of the universe either. But she was the literal universe. Her bl...
