The Remembering (Alex Gaskarth Fanfiction)

33. Stacks

Chapter 33 - Stacks

 

   The next day, I don't think I ever felt so miserable. I hid in my blankets and cried for a good portion of the day. School was just a distance thought while Alex was a persistent thought that kept bringing up memories that I greatly wanted to shut down. It was all impossible to keep the volume down on my thoughts. They were so loud to the point I'm sure the nearest mental ward would be calling a complaint of how intense the level of it was.

     My bed was a total wreck was the least to say. Blankets after blankets were piled everywhere and papers too. I've finally found myself writing my heart out once again. Hopefully this time my privacy of my papers won't be ripped away from me.

      It was only until noon when I decided to be adventurous. I walked out of my room with my body being hugged by a warm blanket. My fuzzy blue socks caused a squeaking noise every dragging step I took towards down stairs.

    Thankfully, Uncle Gabe finally finished his business here and left. I read the Sunday's newspaper; the man who supposedly killed Kenzie happened to be innocent.

     At this point I didn't care; however, all I ever wanted was for Kenzie to rest in peace for once. Her killer was still out there, living and breathing, while she was dead. It was simply not fair at all. Here we were my family a wreck after all these years.

      I walked down stairs carefully, making sure I wasn’t seen by Derek or my father. My stomach had no appetite for anything at all once I got into the kitchen.

      My father was sitting at the table, drinking out of a coffee cup and on his laptop, writing his book I assumed. My legs somehow carried me to sit down near him. It was bold of me; but everything I do now seems bold and out of character.

    With another sip of his hot beverage, he spoke. “You should assume you’re grounded.”

    It took every restraint not to roll my eyes at the obvious, however, I refrained from doing so.

    “Derek’s boyfriend is here, maybe once he leaves, you should apologize to Derek.” He nonchalantly said.

     My pulse quicken at the sudden realization that Caleb was less than a few feet away from me. Worst of all, Alex couldn’t protect me.

     My heart clenched from my latest thoughts and now all I wanted to do was just crawl back into my bed. Really, I should be in school, getting good grades, and applying to colleges.

    I was graduating less than four months. It was disturbing that I will be officially on with my life in only less than the given time. I had so much to think about and to do and yet here I sat in this silence between my father and I, doing completely nothing but mope about a boy that I fallen for.

     I knew this was going to happen. Ever since the day Alex should up in my life, I already foresaw this, me being careless in my studies all because of a boy, which was now becoming true.

    I groaned loudly and marched myself all the way back to my room.

       For the next hour, I stared at my phone with my finger on the select button, which if I pressed, it would dial Alex. Despite my life crisis state, I had a small piece of dignity left to not call him, crying for him to come back.

    I was sleep deprived for the night and then the next day, I wasn’t much better.

My mind and body were both in complete agony. It was more than just missing him. It was knowing he and me were never going to be able to repair the mess we created. We could if we tried but things between him and I was never going to be the same.