The Remembering (Alex Gaskarth Fanfiction)

25. Fools

Chapter 25 - Fools

   Today was the day. Alex's birthday. He was turning the big one-eight. Officially and legally an adult.

     My legs couldn't stop shaking in the last period of the day. I couldn’t even write due to my palms excessively sweating. Alex, of course, didn't even show up to school at all.

     Rian earlier this morning was ranting about how angry he was that the gig Alex mentioned to me was now today, and it was completely unexpected for the band.

   Now that it's towards the end of the school day, my thoughts have been piling on each other. The fear of rejection if I approached Alex was the biggest one so far. The what 'if' he's already in a pissed off mood due to the schedule change of their gig mortified me.

    I knew that if they had a gig tonight that it was best for me to try to talk to Alex before they leave. This was once again all confusing. Alex wasn't just another boy but certainly like a strange creature like most of boys are. Like a finger snap, he broke my heart. I was puzzled how to even approach Alex, nonetheless even know how to speak to him. This was a complete and utter disaster.

    The heart palpitations I was having left me to not do anything but shake in my seat. Luckily, Mr. James wasn't here at school either.

    It felt like this class was forever lasting, and the clock kept ticking slower, and slower. I nearly dozed off when I couldn't take it anymore. But after hours it felt like, the bell jolt me awake. 

    I raced out the door, boldly pushing my peers away with my bag barely even on my shoulders. My legs couldn't keep up with the pace my mind was set to. All I knew was that my legs were my only transportation to go to Alex's apartment.

   My heart thumbed million times per second it felt like. Almost like the beat of a drum to a rapid speed song.

    I made it to the parking lot within short minutes. My breathing had barely caught up for the split second stop I took to scan the parking lot in front of me.

   My eyes land on Jack, who was nonchalantly leaning against his car while fiddling with his keys.

    I had already made it a priority to get to Alex as soon as possible. I needed to stop the ache in my heart, and allow my lungs to breathe once again. And if that means getting a ride from Jack, so be it.

     My whole self and soul was going through pure agony. All of it made me truly realized that I was reliant on Alex for my emotional needs. My mind was pulling in a different direction then my heart which was tugging at a different direction. 

     But somehow, my legs carried me to Jack, who looked surprised to see me at first but quickly recovered with a goofy smile.

   "What can I do for you?" His smile was contagious but I was too determined to get to Alex to even return the smile.

    Briskly, I yanked out a random piece of paper from my bag along with a pen. I scribbled down words and for a second I hardly believed myself that they even made sense. But somehow, Jack easily read it. I assumed that he writes in messy form - perhaps that's how he understood my urgent writing.

   "Sure, I can give you a ride." He cheekily said.

    We're on our way in his beat up car, swerving uncontrollably. My grip on my seat left my knuckles colorless. Jack was blasting some pop punk song while terribly singing along. But that wasn't the only thing terrible - his driving also.