Turning Tables ---Going Under Construction---

#Feels

It took longer than I like to admit to drag my small suitcase from the storage closet on my balcony. There was a lot of climbing and a little bit of screaming involved. Greg kept asking if he could help me but I yelled "I am a strong independent lady who don't need no man," at him many times. 

Greg grabbed my suitcase as I panted like a dog on the floor. "So, what exactly is the plan for this weekend? You said you didn't feel right about tricking Xander anymore."

"I don't," I admitted. "Sasha was right about one thing, I'm in too deep. I have no idea what I am doing with any of this. Plus, there's Emmitt..."

With my suitcase open and on the couch Greg looked at me, confused. "What about Emmitt."

"Did I not tell you?" I ask, trying to look innocent. That part was only supposed to be in my head. "He kissed me at Xanders party. He was pretty drunk so I don't know if he'll remember, but I do."

I roll onto my knees and move over to the couch to start packing, avoiding Greg's shocked gaze. "And then what?"

With a sigh, I continued in a quick outpour of words. "I was heading to find Sasha and I saw him sitting alone in the private room. He said a bunch of weird stuff about Xander and what I see in him. When he started to run away I grabbed him and he... kissed me." 

Greg sat down next to me and took the clothes out of my hands. "Do you have feelings for him?" 

"I don't know. I don't even know if I have feelings or Xander. It doesn't really matter though, I'm pretty sure being with either of them breaks up a friendship in the long run." 

I lean against the couch and bring my knees to my chest. I hadn't said any of those words out loud. It probably would have helped my argument with Sasha. She hasn't even texted me since our fight the day before. With every unread 'I'm sorry' message I just feel worse about everything. 

When my eyes start to water over Greg moves down to the floor with me, wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders. "You are going to be okay, Jade. The right answer will come to you."

With a deep, calming breath I lay my head on his shoulder. "There's whiskey and ice cream in the freezer." 

He laughs as he stands, heading to the kitchen. He comes back with a tray carrying cheap whiskey, 2 shot glasses, 2 spoons, and a carton of salted caramel ice cream. 
___

After a few shots, Greg and I sit across my coffee table from each other playing would you rather. Armed with a pen and paper Greg asks me his question. "Would you rather... Pick the year you die or the way you die." 

We found out how to turn would you rather into a drinking game online. We write out what we think the other would say and if we get it wrong, we have to drink. After getting each other's questions right the first few time we added that if we do get it right the other person drinks. 

Once he finished writing I answer. "The year, that's easy. I would just say like, year 5100 and be good." 

He flips over 'way I die'. After a shot, he looks at me dumbfounded. "That's stupid. It's not like vamp rules. You will look 3000 years old and feel 3000 years old. I would choose the way, and it would be peacefully due to old age."

"Fair enough. I was thinking vamp rules."

A lot of questions and drinks later I ask my last question. "Would you rather... Read minds or see the future."

My question already is written out. "The future. People are too crazy to want to hear everything they think of all day."

"Damn," I show him my paper and take a drink. "I really thought I had you on that one."

"I would like to be able to read your mind right now," He confesses. "I'm curious, now that you are loosened up, how your planning on handling this Xander and Emmitt thing."

I pour us each another shot. "Phrase it as a would you rather."

He sits up straighter and looks me right in the eye. "Would you rather... be happy with one guy, or miserable without either."

Across the coffee table, Greg seems like he's sobered up a bit and just waits for my reaction. "That's an unfair question. You don't know that I'd be miserable without them or even that I'd be happy with either of them."

He nods. "You are right, but I think those are both very real scenarios that you have made a path to. You have decided to push every romantic interest away since I have known you. Your longest relationship was two months and you broke up with him because he wanted you to meet his parents." I open my mouth to protest but he stops me. "And I don't think that you have stuck around this long with Xander, I don't think you are going away with these two guys, to write a blog or get revenge.

"There is something that is keeping you rooted to where you are because you think, for once, you can find happiness with someone other than yourself."

He takes a deep breath and downs the shot I poured him. Sitting there I feel as if a train hit me in the gut and threw me across the earth into a volcano. 

"I want to be happy..." My eyes begin to water as I think of all the people I let slip away and the chances I didn't take. "I don't know if it's with one of them though."

His hand grabs mine. "It doesn't have to be," Greg assures me. "You just need to try, try to move on from all this anger you have built up inside of you because the people who hurt you made you who you are today. A strong, independent, funny person I am lucky to call my best friend."

I smile back at him. "Okay, we need to lighten the mood. Lets just watch some TV."