Turning Tables ---Going Under Construction---

One Month Later

"What about this one?" Sasha twirled around in another of many dresses. This one was red, short and had off the shoulder sleeves. It was as good as any of the other dresses. Still, I humored her. 

I inspected the dress from head to toe, looked at the shoes she had bought especially for this night, and hmmmed in all the right ways so we could finally leave. "I think this is the one," I said with as much gumption as I could muster. "It hugs in all the right places."

She looked down at herself as best she could. "Are you sure, because the black one..."

"This one!" I nearly shouted it. "The dress is perfect. It is red without being too red.  It is short without being too short. This is the dress you should wear at your open casket, which will be much sooner than anticipated if you do not let us leave NOW!" 

Without looking back at her I grabbed my coat and went to the door. THere was nothing inside of me that wanted to go out tonight, I was just tired of hearing that I was being mopey and sad and a downer, even though they all mean the same thing. 

After a month I still hadn't heard from either Xander or Emmitt and it was disheartening, but not unexpected. I knew I had hurt both of them a great deal. In the back of my mind though, I thought they would at least want to hear me out. 

Finally, Sasha follows after me. "We are meeting everybody at the View House in 10 minutes. Are you confident?" I was not coming back to my apartment 5 minutes into our walk so she could try on the black dress again. 

"Yes," she said in the most assured voice she could muster. Hopefully, it was the look in my eye that decided for her.  

The night isn't too cold and I appreciate the slight breeze as we walk into the streets of Downtown Colorado. Greg and Sasha's 'not-boyfriend' were meeting us for a night out that I hadn't felt right to go on since Xander and Emmitt. I was starting to make peace with it though. 

"You look great by the way," Sasha tells me as we pass Broadway. "Blue really is your color."

I give her a smile. "Thank you." We keep walking, homeless folks and drunks guys crowding outside the buildings as we passed. "So, how are you and Peter doing?" 

Peter was nice, a new hire at the bar. Sasha kept saying it was just a fling yet the guy kept ending up out with her on pretty much any excusion. She blushed at his name. "He's fine. We're fine. It's fun having someone that you don't have to put too many expectations on." I nod. She deserved a win whether she admitted he was one or not. 

We finally reach the view house, Greg and Peter waiting inside the door. Sasha did as Sasha always does, and made her way to the front of the line. With a wink and a smile, we were in and greeting our friends. 

"You two look gorgeous," Peter says, though he is only looking at Sasha. She walks quickly into his arms and Greg and I all but lose them. 

Greg turns to me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." 

He keeps staring at me. 

"I'm fine Greg, don't look at me like I just crawled out of a cave after 25 years. I took a month off of going out." 

"I said nothing."

I gave him a quick glare and grabbed Sasha to get a drink from the bar. "To get through this night, booze is needed!" 

"You got it, girl," Sasha agreed and called the bartender over. "Two double vodka crans."

The bartender gives us a thumbs up and turns to make our drinks. "So, what is the time limit for tonight?"I ask her. Hopefully, an hour will suffice. 

She gives me a curious look. "What do you mean?"

"When can I leave? How long until you and Greg are you are satisfied that I haven't cut myself off from the world."

She actually looked disappointed. If I hadn't asked I think I could have gotten away with just running off, she'd be too engulfed in Peter. "Is it that bad?"

The room was pulsing, the air was stiff... I had never liked clubs and now they felt so much worse. "It's not you or the company, I just can't relax here."

As she had been doing for the last month she stared at me like I was moments away from spontaneously combusting. To ease her internal agony I take her hand. 

"I absolutely promise that everything is fine. We will stay, I will have a good time." 1/3 of a lie doesn't seem like much at all. 

That satisfied her enough that we could take our drink and head back to the group. Without another word, Peter drags Sasha onto the dance floor, leaving me and Greg in out new found booth by the bar. I take a sip of my drink. 

"So, how..."

"Ask me one more time, I swear!" 

He throws his hand in the air in surrender. "I'm asking a normal friend question, you can ask me in retaliation."

"Greg, it is so hard to have to repeat my self over and over again while you and Sasha look at me like a kicked puppy. How am I supposed to have fun going out when..." I stop in the middle of my thought, suddenly drawn across the bar to a familiar face. "Xander."

Greg twists around and follows my gaze to where Xander is standing with some friends. The difference this time is Emmitt is nowhere in sight and Xander doesn't look quite as excited to be out. He must have felt me looking because he turned and caught my eyes immediately. He says something to his friends and moves to the door. 

Without thinking I get up and run after him. "Xander!" I call after him but even if he wasn't ignoring me the music swallowed my voice. I shove my way through people to get closer to him but as soon as I make it outside he's gone. 

Without going back in to say my goodbyes I start walking home. I shoot my friends a quick text to let them know I'm okay, I just can't go through the motions of having fun after seeing him again.