nepenthe // p.jisung

_13_

  
   Haechan's face lit up as he looked down at the screen on his phone.

   "You've been staring at your screen this whole time," Mark told him. Haechan briefly glanced up.

   "He's texting his girlfriend," Chenle cooed, peeking over Haechan's shoulder.

   Jisung took a long drink of his Coke. The group of guys sat at a local fast food restaurant catching up and spending time together.

   "That's right." A mischievous grin spread on Jaemin's face. "Haechan and Akina are now together. How is it?"

   Haechan shrugged his shoulders. "It's great. She's really great with words, and her perspective on life is so different. It really makes me think."

   "You've been acting different lately," Jeno piped up.

   "Yeah," Renjun agreed. "Happier, and not as... you know, prankster, or joking."

   Haechan huffed a laugh. "I don't know. She just makes me feel different. Akina isn't like anyone I've ever met."

   "You really like her a lot, don't you?" Jaemin asked.

   Haechan nodded, pulling his phone back out.

   "Do you love her?"

   The table went silent, intently staring at Haechan as he peeked up at them from his phone. "Do I love her?"

   Jaemin raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

   "I..." Haechan shyly smiled. He scratched his neck, avoiding eye contact. "I don't know. Maybe?"

   "He's blushing!" Chenle exclaimed, letting out a high-pitched squeal.

   "Shut up!" Haechan laughed.

   "Haechan loves Akina!" Chenle sang out loud. The others joined this chant as Haechan started to throw fries at the guys. Jisung chuckled at all his friends, but didn't sing along.

   He just couldn't.

~~~

   Jisung exhaled, creating a cloud of fog from his warm breath hitting the frosty air. He had on a red sweatshirt, which was now his favorite, with his hood flipped onto his head. The sunset so early now that the days are getting shorter. Jisung waited for Akina to arrive, pacing around the front of his house.

   "Come on, JiJi!" Akina called. Jisung snapped his head in her direction, a smile appearing on his face.

   Jisung jogged down the short gravel drive to meet Akina. Her hair was curled today, cascading down her arms and back in spirals. She was hiding in a gray jacket to stay away from the chilly air.

   "It feels like it's been months since we've gotten the chance to go for a walk together," Akina told Jisung, starting to walk down the road. "I've almost forgotten just how tall you are. Did you grow even more?" Akina measured their height difference with her hands in a joking manner.

   "Maybe," Jisung let out a puff of laughter, visible in the air. "I've been dying to hear more about your thoughts."

   Akina glued her eyes to the pavement, taking in a breath before speaking. "Well, I have something for you today."

   Jisung gave her a nod to prompt her on.

   "There's something that I've noticed about people. They're torn between the craving for the familiar and the urge for the foreign and strange." Akina created natural hand gestures that fit with her thoughts. "Mostly, we're homesick for the places we've never known."

   Jisung gave her a long stare, letting her words sink into his own mind.

   Akina shifted her eyes, noticing Jisung's eyes on her. "What?"

   "What do you mean what?" Jisung asked, a grin tugging at his lips.

   "You're just staring at me," she chuckled, looking away.

   "What's wrong with that?"

   Akina giggled again, brushing her hair back. "I don't know." She shook her head. "It's just... You... You look at me like there's something worth looking at." Akina glanced at Jisung, whose face showed a warm expression. "Never mind, just ignore me." Akina hid her face in embarrassment.

   Jisung dipped his head down to look at his feet. Why would there not be something worth looking at?

   "Anyways, I have a question to ask you," Akina piped back up. "I've been really debating on saying this, but I need to."

  "What is it?" Jisung questioned, interest perking even more.

  "Am I a bad person for not feeling any feelings towards Donghyuk?" She sighed quite heavily. "I mean, he's a great guy, but why can't I feel any of that chemistry effect when I'm around him?"

  "You mean... you don't feel the same as Haechan?"

  Akina pitifully shook her head. "That isn't a good thing, is it?"

  Jisung hesitated before answering. "You're not a bad person for not liking him back. No one can help who they like and don't like," Jisung carefully started out. He scratched his head, bewildered at what she admitted.

   Akina buried her face in her hands. "I really want to stay friends with him, but I'm scared he'll not want to be around me if I did end things. I really like him, but not in that way."

   "I guess the best you can do is tell him your exact feelings. The things you just told me." Jisung gave a reassuring smile in Akina's direction. "I'm sure he'll understand. If I was in a position like his, I would want to know the truth. Just make sure to go easy. I'll talk to him and make sure he's okay."

   "I feel terrible." The two had finally reached the bridge. Akina gripped onto the rail, closing her eyes.

   "Don't." Jisung placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Things happen."

   She nodded, solemnly. "What if I gave him another week?"

   "That's up to you, but you shouldn't keep him in the dark."

   Her breath left her in a puff of fog. "Thanks, JiJi, for talking me through this." She opened her eyes, looking at the flowing creek. The air was cold enough to freeze the shallow and still waters, but the moving current was able to continue on freely.

   "Anytime. You can count on me."