nepenthe // p.jisung

_15_

   Akina wasn't at school that next day. Jisung started to worry. Even throughout the evening she played in his mind like a never-ending movie.

Jisung: Are you okay? I noticed you didn't show up at school today.
(Delivered)

Jisung: If something's wrong, you can talk to me about it.
(Delivered)

   Ten minutes passed, and still nothing. Akina hasn't even read the messages. Jisung constantly turned on his phone to see if she's sent anything, but would just come to a blank screen.

Jisung: Does it have to do with you and Haechan ending?
(Read)

Akina: No. I just need to be alone in my thoughts for a little bit.

Jisung: What's wrong?
(Deleted)

Jisung: Tell me you're okay.
(Deleted)

Jisung: Let me know if you ever need to talk.
(Read)

   Akina ended up not showing up the next school day either. It hurt Jisung because something seemed wrong, but he didn't know what. It hurt because she may be hurting and he can't do anything about it.

   Jisung's legs carried him out of the house and into the cold, snowy environment. His hot breath created fog in the air and his eyes stung in the cold. Jisung jogged down the driveway and towards the frozen creek. He didn't care how cold it was, he just really wanted... needed to go to the creek.

   Leaning against the rail, Jisung stared off into the distance, trying to find an end to the creek. It seemed to go on forever; the iced-over water with a dust of snow.

   "I hope she's okay," Jisung whispered as he hung his head low, running a freezing hand through his hair.

   "Jisung?"

   The voice made him jump. Jisung backed up from being startled and gaped in Akina's direction. Her eyes were red and swollen, and the corners looked like they had been rubbed raw. Her face was ghostly, showing a worn-out look.

   "Are you okay?" Jisung asked her. "You look down."

   "I'm just tired," she quickly replied which created suspicion in Jisung.

   He could tell it wasn't just the lack of sleep, but a lack of hope and happiness that made her look and feel the way she was.

   "It's okay if you're not... okay," Jisung told her. His heart shattered to pieces as Akina's eye squeezed together and she clenched her fists so tight her knuckles turned white. She shook her head, too scared to open her lips.

   "Just let out whatever it is you're holding back," Jisung spoke softly, carefully.

   A light cry left her mouth as her eyes began to give away the tears they've been hiding away. They fell down her face, creating stains on her rosy cheeks. Jisung didn't even think twice about walking up to her and pulled her towards him. Akina's arms clutched onto Jisung tightly.

   Her face buried in Jisung's chest. Her whole body shook as she sobbed and sobbed. Jisung held onto her broken self, hoping it's enough to put all her pieces back together.

   But Jisung thought that he could never be enough to heal her. However, he wanted to try and fix all the parts of her that have fallen. He wanted to hold her together when she couldn't.

   And when she cries, he'll be right there to see her as nothing less than beautiful.

   Beautiful, Jisung thought. And in her most fragile moments, maybe even more.

   Jisung rested his chin on the top of her head. He closed his eyes, praying for everything that Akina deserved to come her way.

   Akina's hands gripped onto Jisung's jacket as her cries hiccupped. "I've...I've tried to hold... back," she managed to tell Jisung. "I wanted to b-be strong just once!"

   Jisung lightly rubbed her back in small circles. "You don't have to be strong."

   For the next few minutes, Jisung let Akina stay in his arms until she could finally get out any words properly.

   "No one told me," she whispered, staring off of the bridge. "My grandfather was incredibly sick, but no one ever told me."

   Jisung watched Akina's face as she clenched her jaw.

   "He passed yesterday night," she added. "From cancer. He was so sick, JiJi. If only someone told me before, maybe I wouldn't be so..." Her lips pinched together creating a thin, white line.

   "I'm incredibly sorry," Jisung gave his condolences.

   "Don't be sorry. Life happens, but it also sucks that it has to." A chilling breeze passed. "People die, and there's nothing we can do about it. People we love, people we know, and strangers. I just wish I would've known. I could've spent my time with him more wisely. I didn't even get to say goodbye, which is what kills me the most."

   Jisung looked down to the ice that consumed the creek. "I mean, it really isn't too late." He looked back up to meet Akina's confused stare.