I look in the mirror once more
Where i used to see a stranger
Now all too real I see myself
I beg to see a stranger once again ,
Because the real me is full of pain,
I beg to not notice the person I've become,
I beg to not recognise my falling tears and dark eyes undone.
My huge waist and too big thighs,
Mocking me to my demise,
I beg that this isn't me and this is a dream,
But deep down I know this has always been me .
I sit and do my makeup in front of the reflection,
At once I cry again at my ugly complexion,
I smear the makeup as thick as I can,
This mask I've created wasn't part of the plan.
I didn't plan for the pain or plan for the hatred,
I didn't plan for the lies that I hold too sacred,
I didn't plan to be this way or plan to be lonely,
I know this when I cry at night wishing someone would hold me,
I brush my hair and cringe at the texture,
Just like my mind a broken structure,
I stare at the cut uneven and messy,
My fringe so choppy almost trying to test me.
Everything becomes to real,
As I stare and remember this wasn't part of the deal,
I go through my wardrobe and dress in all black,
Because it's slimming and I can't stop my personal attack.
I finish getting ready ,
My breathing becomes unsteady,
Because for the final time I look in the mirror and see a mirage,
An accidental but relieving camouflage.
And as I stare at the stranger looking back at me,
I finally feel the thoughts and stress become free,
I see no part of me in this foreign reflection,
The real me and my mask now a disconnection.
I do the one thing I've struggled to do for a while,
Now I've covered the real me up I can finally smile.
A/N ~ It's been a while.
