Scars Out Of Love

I Need Help(13)

I walked to the counselor's office, dizzy from pain and rolled my knuckles on her door, making a soft knocking sound. The door swung open and she invited me inside. I took a seat on one of the love seats in her office.

"So, who did this?"

"I don't know, I didn't see them."

"Do you know why?"

My voice started to dwindle, "Yes."

"Then why exactly?"

My speech was barely audible, "Because I'm gay."

She paused and tears started flowing down my cheeks, I had never told anyone my unspoken label until this point.

"How did they know that and is it true?"

I wanted to shout, but I held myself under control, "Of course it's true, that's why I moved here, I thought I was trying to escape the bullies, but no, I was running from myself, I was scared to come to the conclusion that I liked girls, but it's true, it's so very fucking true."

She didn't even comment on my language, "But, if you haven't told anyone, how did they know?"

"They saw me kissing a girl."

"May I ask who?"

"Sky."

She went silent, "Sky isn't here today is she?"

"No, she had... Family issues?" I was still unsure about her reasoning.

"If you want to go home, I'd understand, I'll even write you a pass and I could get you all your missing work, but you really should tell your parents about your sexuality, they deserve to know."

I took a minute to let her words register, "I want to go home."

She nodded and opened the door for me, "If you come tomorrow, come see me during homeroom."

I ignored her as I walked out of the school. I didn't know where I was headed, but I wasn't going home. I felt my pockets and sure enough, I had cash, so I decided the best thing to do would to set my thoughts aside and be irresponsible.

I walked up to a store advertising piercings, it was about time I got something more than my ears done. I asked what piercings hurt least and the cashier gave me a very vague answer, "They're all about the same."

With that in mind, I decided to just get a stud through my left eyebrow, and with that I walked out of the store, sixty dollars poorer and with a slight bit more metal. I wandered aimlessly down the street until I decided to sit in a café. My seat had an excellent view of the flow o students, who were just being released from school. A group of girls, dresses in slutty tops walked into the shop and ordered frilly drinks before sitting just within earshot of me. With nothing better to do, I listened to their conversation, scattered with the overly-used phrases, seriously, Omg, like, and girl. Their main topic was a oh a club that let high schoolers in with their student ID's. They were heading there next. Curios, I followed them when they left, inconspicuously checking my phone and gazing around. When they got there, they squealed and ran to hug their girls. I headed inside. A guy at the door looked at me and I timidly flashed my card at him. He let me pass with grunt. Inside, there was a bar on one side and a collection of modern couches on the other, in between there was a dance floor that got more and more crowded as the sun disappeared. For a while I sat on a couch with a beer in my hand, slowly sipping it and just observing everyone else. The majority of the club was made up of students that I recognized from my high school. Nobody paid much attention to me, until a tall, muscular guy, with chiseled features strided up to me and sat down. I glanced over at him and he smirked at me, "What are you drinking?"

"Beer."

"Can I see the bottle?"

I held the glass closer to him and he took it in his hand, looking at the label, "Nice, I've had that before, it's not horrible."

I took another sip. He continued talking and a grin grew on his face as all his words started to blur into a soft noise behind a vividly colorful bar scene. I felt hands on my waist and I was lifted up. I barely managed to make out the words, "I'm taking her home," before I passed out.

I regained the majority of my consciousness, just to realize that I hadn't the slightest idea where I was. I was lying on my side, on a bed, in a room with clutter everywhere. I heard a door click and I looked up to see the guy that was talking to me at the club earlier. He moved his mouth, but all I could hear was a quiet buzzing noise. I sat up on the bed and he walked over, climbing on top of me and crashing his lips into mine. Kissing without the distinct scent of hair gel felt wrong and I tried to push him away, leading me to discover that my wrist was throbbing and also restricted by something. As he leaned closer, I could feel something press against my thigh, assuming I knew what it was, I squirmed, realizing his plans. I tried to make words and protest, but all that fell off my tongue were slurred mumbled with no meaning. He separated our lips and slid my shirt over my head, having it stay up by his bed frame, stuck of the handcuffs. He declothed himself down to his underwear, before starting to undo my pants. I glanced down at him and noticed an increasing bulge in his pants. Good to know his kink was restricting his partner. Although I had never done it before, I knew every step that he went through and what pain I would have felt if my body didn't feel fuzzy all over. I breathed out in relief when he lied down next to me and held me to his chest. Tears rolled down my face as I faces the fact that I had been raped. His arms around me felt disgusting, but at the same time I needed comfort, even from the one who caused the issue.

The next morning I woke up and my wrist was in agonizing pain. I had a blanket draped over me, but other than that, I had nothing covering me. The door to his room swung open and in his hand he ha pliers. He walked over and I could finally hear each of his footsteps distinctly. He cut the metal attaching me to his bed and handed me a ball of clothes. I got dressed under his covers and looked up to see that he was only wearing a shirt, "You have to do me a favor before you can leave."

He put his hand on the crown of my head and guided me to his crotch. I knew what he was expecting and I refused, tensing the muscles in my neck, as to not allow him to bring me any closer. His arms proved to be stronger than my resistance and I collided with something I never wanted to touch. I obliged and did what I could, guessing how to please him. In the process he flinched and caused my nose to impact on him, releasing a gush of blood. He decided when I was finished and then dragged me through his house and kicked me out of his front door. I walked in the direction I saw a school bus go and hoped I was heading home. I didn't bother to hold my nose, and I just let it drip as I stumbled down the sidewalk. I managed to find my way back to my apartment and I exploded into a frenzy of tears the second I reached my bed.