soft ✃ reddie

7:10 am

eddie softly fluttered open his eyes and looked up to see a dent in his bed where richie once laid, a small piece of notebook paper replacing where the boy once was:

hey eddie spaghetti, hope you slept good.
sorry i had to leave early i didn't want to get you in trouble. i'll see you at school.
-richie

p.s
your snores are cute

eddie blushed at the words scribbled on the scrap paper and got up to get ready. he felt so energized and couldn't wait to step onto school grounds and see the people he thought of as friends, and for some reason, he felt like it was going to be a good day.
he felt happy, he wouldn't let anyone make him feel anything but the good feeling he was feeling.

he slid his favorite yellow sweatshirt over his head and slid his favorite light blue jeans on.

he rolled the jeans up at the bottom since they were just too long for him, and slipped on his shoes before starting the walk to school.

he hummed a song richie had shown him while walking, a smile planted on his face.

nothing could bring down his smiley mood as he approached the losers near the front on the school.

he joined the small circle and said hello to everyone. everyone was there except for richie, but he knew it took him a little longer to get to the school.

they talked amongst themselves, eddie patiently waiting for richie to come.

after a few minutes he smiled as he saw richie approaching the group;

but eddies smile dropped when he saw a short girl with shoulder-length, curly brown hair wrap her arms around him.
and the worst part? when richie hugged her back, just like how he hugged eddie.

the small boy felt his heart being tug in his chest. his lungs started to burn and he clenched his small hands,

why am i upset? who cares if they're friends! richie can have friends other than me! he thought to himself.

eddie looked to the ground and dug through his fanny pack for his inhaler.
he took a few breaths of fresh air mixed with medicine, and shoved the inhaler back in the small pack before anyone could see.

"hey guys!" richie said before standing next to eddie and smiling, "hey ed's!"

he couldn't help but feel his heart swirl again as he put on a fake smile and looked up at the tall boy next to him. "hey rich." he said quietly, just loud enough for richie to hear. richie patted his head and talked to the rest of the group, making crude jokes and glancing over at eddie every so often.

!

once it had come time for lunch, eddie was a little late. he had gone to the bathroom before walking to the cafeteria, reassuring richie that he'd be fine on his own.

for the second time today, eddie felt his heart tug in his chest as he saw richie sitting with the girl.

eddie felt his lungs burning and his eyes watering this time.

he watched them laugh for a few seconds before having to walk back to the bathroom. he shut the door to the stall and he felt his eyes water again, warm tears dripping down his cheeks.

what's wrong with me? he thought again to himself, why am i so upset?

he wiped away the tears that had formed on his cheeks and walked back out to where everyone was sitting, except instead of sitting next to richie, he sat next to beverly.

she might not have been as funny as richie, and not nearly as fun to hold hands with, but eddie was okay with it.

richie looked at him with a confused look for a second, but quickly went back to talking to the girl next to him. the small boy sighed and went back to talking with beverly.

!

later in the evening, beverly called eddie on the phone. they had been talking about whatever came to mind for the past 40 minutes.

"hey, by the way, richie wanted me to ask if you were alright? he said he thinks you're mad at him.." beverly spoke into the phone.

eddie paused and thought for a minute,
"i-i just.. i don't know i.." he started thinking again and sighed, "can i tell you something?" he said, "of course you can eddie! you can tell me anything."

"when i saw richie hanging out with that girl today, i.. i don't know. i felt weird. i felt like he was mad at me. of course i'm not mad at him, but do you think i did something? or maybe do you think he.. likes that girl?" just the thought of richie liking that girl made eddies stomach swirl.

beverly sat wide eyed on the other end of the line.

"uh eddie.. i don't know if you're gonna like this.. but i think you're just jealous." she laughed softly at eddies naiveness.

"wh-what! i'm not jealous, why would i be jealous?!" his cheeks heated up and he became flustered.

"i'm not trying to assume things here, but it's pretty obvious you have a humongous crush on ri-" before beverly could even finish, eddie slammed the phone down, hanging up.

he ran upstairs and felt the familiar feeling of tears stinging his eyes.

his mind raced with thoughts.

he knew he liked richie.
for goodness sake he loved him!
but his mother had referred to being gay as a sickness. was eddie sick?

being sick.. made so much sense. whenever he sees richie, he feels queasy.. his stomach turns, his throat goes dry, his face heats up, and he feel so out of breath he almost needs his inhaler.

but he didn't hate how richie made him feel.

he didn't despise the feeling, like how he despised staying home sick with the flu; in fact he loved it!

now, eddie was smiling. he didn't mind being sick.

but once again his mood was torn down by a simple thought:

what if richie doesn't feel the same?
what if richie isn't hopelessly in love with eddie like he is in love with richie?

eddie climbed into bed trying not to think about it too much. he shut his eyes and tried to sleep.

he did dream about richie.
but this time, richie was his nightmare.