all in my head || reddie / kasbrough

e l e v e n

i love how people are telling me i'm like two, nine years old. i'm eleven so shut the fuck up! (get it? cause it's the eleventh chapter,, i'll leave now)
there's gonna be a time skip because i find the hospital chapters of pretty much anything a bit boring tbh so imma speed things up like i'll add a couple flashbacks here and there most likely,, also thank you all so much for 4,000+ reads!! i appreciate every single one of you !!

"I BEGIN TO ASSEMBLE WHAT WEAPONS I CAN FIND, CAUSE SOMETIMES TO STAY ALIVE YOU GOTTA KILL YOUR MIND." - tøp: migraine

3 weeks later

Eddie stared at his chest through the mirror, the stitches almost healed. They would be gone soon with a faint scar lying there instead, but the memory of the traumatic event was everlasting. Eddie wished it wasn't.

He ran his pointer finger along the line of the stitches, slightly wincing. Everyone at the hospital told him he was lucky to be alive. It was a miracle, they had said. It didn't feel like a miracle. It felt like a nightmare. He wished he had died that night. If this is what a miracle felt like, Eddie didn't want it.

He had always suffered from the occasional anxiety, but it had now reached an all-time high. He was paranoid constantly. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was waiting to die, for real this time.

Even with Pennywise gone, he still lingered, his memory haunting him, and Eddie hated himself for being so goddamn weak. He hadn't seen his friends since the third day of him being in the hospital. His mother was screaming at him, yelling at him, cursing him for being so goddamn idiotic.

"Why would you ever do such a stupid thing? How could you do this to yourself?! I thought I raised you better than this, but you're just a disappointment! You could've died, and for what, your friends? You have enough health issues as it is!"

Eddie did nothing as she scolded him, staring blankly at the white tiles. He didn't feel the usual anger towards her, not really caring enough to argue with her anymore.

They looked at him with such pity that day it almost physically hurt him. Maybe it was because they could see the loss of life in his eyes and the bags under his physically and mentally tired eyes. Or maybe, they just wanted better for him.

Richie and Stan had trouble breathing for a bit but after some time with treatment, they went back to their normal selves. Well, as normal as they could be, given everything.

They visited him constantly, along with Steve and Dustin. He never said anything, the visitors constantly asking him if he was alright, but he honestly wasn't. He didn't want to lie so he didn't respond.

They took his silence as an answer within itself and thankfully left the matter alone. But, after that third day, Eddie refused to see visitors. He didn't have the energy to try anymore.

Beverly was in a room not so far away from him, yet the two never reached out. Beverly had a broken rib, the oxygen passing through her lungs hurting every time she inhaled. The only thing the doctors could do was wrap her ribs in a tight bandage. (idk if this is accurate but if it's not pls tell me so i can fix it!)

They told her the rib had to heal by itself, to give it time. She scowled at the thought of being in constant pain, the only option being waiting. She didn't know what bothered her more, the pain or her constant feeling of helplessness.

(also i just realized i forgot about ben in this whole thing shitttt, uh lets pretend he's grounded and couldn't help and can't visit?? fuck sorry) — i'll make a better explanation next chapter probably

The friends didn't know how to help each other. They both seemed isolated, floating in a different world, and maybe they were.

None of them had heard from Eleven, the girl seeming to disappear from thin air. She had helped them and they wanted to thank her. They were extremely puzzled as they heard she was nowhere to be found.

They all had one question: Where is she?

sorry this is really short it's kinda a filler ig? also what are your theories on eleven? what do you think is going on? why do you think ben got grounded?