Saved (Jack Gilinsky)

Part 28

   "Is Jack mad?" Jj said softly.

   "He doesn't get why you flipped out at the house."

   "Okay hear me out, you know me and Jack have been best friends since kindergarten. Inseparable. But the fact that he couldn't tell me this sooner, like he had to hide it, it's just a slap in the face you know?"

   "Yeah but you didn't have to freak out-"

   "Why couldn't he have just told me?! That's bull shit Santi and you know it!"

   "Don't fucking yell at me! I'm just trying to help you two figure this out!"

    "Why? So you can make yourself look good for the tour?!"

   "Don't turn this on me! Maybe this is why he didn't tell you! Because he knew you would react like this! You don't even know what he's going through! It's hard to just admit that you've let something like pills take over! It's embarrassing and maybe that's why he told me, because I've been there! Or maybe he just trusts me more. I don't know."

   I turned to walk away and prayed that Jj would just stay there. Luckily he did, and I walked home in complete silence.

   When I walked through the front door using the spare key, I went upstairs to see Jack still in bed, but awake. "You feeling any better?"

   "Where'd you go?"

   "For a walk," I said quickly, "Are you feeling better?"

   He weakly shook his head and reached for his glass of water. "You want something to eat?"

   Again he shook his head, "I just threw up everything I've eaten in the past few days."

   "Gross." I said, gaining a small laugh from Jack, which I could tell hurt because he winced and grabbed at his throat.

   "Saaanttii..." He dragged out as he raised his arms and smiled a cheesy smile.I knew it hurt him but I couldn't help but smile, he was so adorable. I climbed into the bed and snuggled up in his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.  "So where'd you go?"

   I sighed. "To the park to talk to Jack."

   "Stay away from him."

   Firm. "Jack, I was-"

   "No. Stay away from him. Got it? He does stupid shit when he's mad."

   "Jack you're not my-" oh my god.

    His eyes widened, "Santi, god, I-" I didn't hear anything after that as I practically ran out of the room. Why the fuck did I say that? I know I need to get past not having my dad, he's been gone for almost 8 years. God 8 years.

    I went back to my room and laid in my bed. I pulled the blankets up to my face and continued to do what I do best. Hide from my problems. It's like these past few months I've been so pathetic. I make big deals about nothing, I over react, I don't know what's going on.

   God why is this even bothering me? Remember what I always tell myself. Live for yourself only. But I wasn't. I was slowly wrecking my life and no matter how bad I knew it could get I couldn't stop.

   I eventually fell asleep and woke up to my face and pillow being sticky from my dried tears. I sat up and opened my phone, half expecting a text from Jack. Maybe an apology, but got nothing. When I layed back down I realized it was almost 10 at night. There was absolutely nothing to do. I had to stop myself from wandering into Jack's room or texting Jj because at the moment none of us were on speaking terms.  Which sucked because we haven't rehearsed and I honestly miss hanging out with them.