where is my real friend? I don't know...but I can tell where my fake ones are...here beside me ....using me, smiling at me whenever they need me, be nice to me whenever I have money, treats me with love whenever I'm useful .....
......the real ones are
somewhere !
somewhere where I don't believe exist
somewhere where I don't have the urge to seek
somewhere I don't belong
somewhere where I wanted to leave
somewhere out there
somewhere in the crowds of fake friends acting fake as well to get accepted ....accepted to be able to wear the title "fake friend" ......yes these fake friends turn real friends into fake friends .....
......now you see my answer is
there is no such things as a "real friend" for me
but wait ......I'm in this crowd wearing this title as well......
.......I didn't realize
someone help me getting out of this crowd
I don't want to be here anymore
I'm tired of faking a smile
I want to be free
I want to be loved for me
I want to be real to myself
I want to be real to real ones
I want to live in a real world
Why did I decide to write about this? Well I guess I'm at a point in life where I can communicate and talk to everybody...it's not that I'm an extreme introvert who has social phobia like I do before (even though I still don't like going out and be in crowds)...it's just that I don't take anybody serious no more.
Don't misunderstand, I don't mean it in a negative way. It's just that I feel like I don't have to trust anybody with my secrets anymore. Friends come and go...even though it sounds harsh and people might tell me I'm stupid and close minded to think this way...but I talk for myself....I can only talk for myself. I actually feel better not to have those kind of friends, who keeps being nice to everyone just not me, because they think we're FRIENDS and no matter what they do, even if it's freakin rude, I'm never gonna leave them.
And now it turns me into that kind of person who doesn't care that much no more.....is it good? Well some of tou might say no......but it makes me feel a lot more free...carefree. And if this attitude of mine makes me feel better....than why should I make friends and feel like I used to be right?
Some of you might say I lie to myself....everybody needs friends in their life....but as I said, I'm not everybody and I'm not you......and tou are not me....we can only talk for ourselves. For me .....for now I don't need anybody.....
.........well maybe a fluffly puppy I can cuddle with in bed.
YOU ARE READING
please listen to me
Short StoryI don't have anybody to talk to...nowhere to go....noone who can believe me...noone who I can tell my secrets....nobody I can share my pain with ....so please ...listen to me ....this is the only place I can type down my stories, my pain and be myse...
