Lost in Paradise - A Troyler FanFic -

Love

*Edited/ Updated 12/09/2014*

AUTHORS NOTE:

This story is dedicated to @colour-me-troyler, you should all go follow and read her amazing work! Thanks for the Fic request bae. Hopefully this is what you wanted! Let me know what else you want me to include!

This will be a multi-chapter story. It will be mainly told in Tyler’s POV, with a possibility of a Troye POV later. It is about Tyler’s thoughts and feelings a week on from the Troyler kiss at the UK Digifest Q and A.

The chapters aren’t very long, but I believe in quality, not quantity.

I am open to a full smut scene if enough people want it. I do not know how long this will go for, or where it is going yet, but hopefully you will like it and we can go on a little Troyler adventure together!

Please feel free to leave me any feedback or suggestions on where you would like this to go!

Enjoy! 

Jackie Xx

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Chapter One

Love

Noun: Love
Plural noun: Loves

          1.    A strong feeling of affection

          2.    A great interest and pleasure in something

          3.    A person or thing that one loves

Tyler POV

Love.

Four little letters.

Who would think that such a small word could destroy a person?

I mean, I know it can also do the opposite, and make a person whole and happy to a point where it becomes terrifyingly beautiful. But that’s just it. It’s a scary thing, love. Giving yourself over entirely to someone else. Letting them in, showing them your deepest, darkest and dirtiest secrets.

I’ve been in like-love a few times, and real love maybe once, back in college. It was scary, but those relationships have made me grow as a person. I’ve learnt and seen a lot because of love.

But now I’m in a bit of a pickle. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no-where near to being in love with him, but I’m starting to develop the beginnings of what might be classed as “feelings” and “attraction” towards a certain someone. I don’t know what to do about these feelings, and I don’t know where they’ve come from… ok maybe I do, but I’m in denial.

For now.

I think.

You see, a few days ago, I was doing a main stage Q and Slay with Korey and Troye, and during the entire show, the audience kept shouting at us to kiss. I had run a Prizeo campaign for my birthday to try and help raise money for the Trevor Project, a leading organization mainly focused on LGBTQ teen youth who need help. During this campaign, on a Livestream, Troye said we would kiss on the lips if we reached $500 000, without my permission. When I found out I was so angry, but he said to ‘relax’ because we were nowhere near the goal and there were only a few weeks left of the campaign anyway. So I went along with it.

Then we reached the goal and I accepted that we would have to kiss. Not that I would mind of course, Troye is one of my very best friends and I adore him. Not to mention he’s a total babe.

So there we were, answering questions, when Korey asks if Troyler was real. Troye answered we were just friends, of course, and then just as we were about to finish the set, the crowd started chanting us to kiss again. We made a plan to just pretend we were kissing, Troye would put his hand on my cheek and we’d lean in real close and then pretend to kiss. But then when we went to do that, he kept leaning in and actually did kiss me.

It was a shock at first, but then I went along with it. I was so embarrassed afterwards that I kind of just stumbled off stage laughing and waving to the crowd.

I’ve been an emotional wreck ever since. The kiss was amazing, especially seeing as Troye doesn’t really have that much experience… not like I do at least. His lips were so soft. Hesitant yet firm. And it wasn’t just a quick peck either, he had moved his lips over mine four times before pulling away.

Troye’s explanation to me was that he saw the cameraman behind us, and didn’t want it to get out to our fans that the kiss wasn’t real, and that we didn’t hold our end of the promise up.

 

“It’s fine, Troye,” I’d said “The crowd got what they wanted, and you were pretty good so, win-win all round!”

But now I was overanalyzing everything. Did he really do it because of the camera crew behind us, or did he like me more than a friend? I knew he was attracted to me a few years ago, as he’d mentioned it in quite a few of his older videos, but I didn’t know if he still was or not.

What if he does like me? What if he doesn’t and he was really just doing it for the people? Does he want to be more than friends? I’d sure thought about it a few times, especially after the Troyler Tumblr tag collaboration we did together as part of my Special August last year!

I mean, we’ve travelled to so many places together, and have become such good friends, it’s like we know each other to the core. The friendship I have with Troye is so special to me that I would give up anything just to keep him close!

But now I’m worried that if I do talk to him about my growing feelings and attraction, he’ll take it the wrong way, and start distancing himself from me. I’m worried that, maybe, just maybe, I might lose him because of that. And that is not a possibility that I am willing to risk!

“Tyler? Hello? Earth to Tilly!”

Startled out of my thoughts, I quickly look up and smile at my best friend. “Sorry, lost in thought… what did I miss?”

“What’s up with you lately Ty? You’ve been so distracted for the last few days it’s like you’re not even here. Is everything ok?” Troye looked so concerned, I wanted to wipe it off his face and make him feel better immediately.

“Yeah, sure, of course! Just stressing a little over how busy this month is!” I assure him.

“Oh sure, yeah, so many YouTube conventions, so little time!”

“Exactly. Plus, I have to admit, I’m a little ‘snervous’ about meeting your family in person for the first time too!” 

“Are you kidding? They already love you, you know that! Stop being stupid Ty! Now come on, we’re going out to dinner soon, Zoe said she’s taking us to this quiet little restaurant she found not long after moving here, and we need to get ready!” Troye stood up and started for the bathroom, his intent to take a shower obvious.

Troye.
In the shower.

Water flowing down his naked body – NO!

I couldn’t think like that. I mustn’t! If I slipped up and gave him any indication as to where my thoughts have been lately, he’d turn scared and run the other way. 

Do not think of Troye naked.
Do NOT think of Troye naked!

I sighed. This was going to be a very long night.

***