I lock the door and collapse on the rug that lies by it, breaking down. I'm hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall. I could stay right here or disappear and nobody would even notice at all.
I cross to the mirror, looking in at my pathetic face. I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone. But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly or pretend to check a text on my phone. Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair! For no fault of mine, there's no other half there.
I sit down, my head against the wall. I can hear people laughing and having fun outside the thin door. Tears go down my eyes. I'm just Dan in the bathroom at a party. I forget how long I've been in here. Someone knocks on the door.
"No, you can't come in!" I yell.
I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave and picking at grout as I softly grieve.
I'm just Daniel who you don't know, Daniel flying solo, Dan in the bathroom by himself.
I am hiding but he's out there, just ignoring all our history. Memories get erased and I'll get replaced with a newer cooler version of me.
And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door!
"I wanna dance with somebody," I sing along. My face falls and my feelings sink because it makes me think that there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore
Now it's just Dan in the bathroom at a party. I half regret the beers. I'll wait as long as I need 'til my face is dry. Or I'll just blame it on weed or something in my eye.
Knock knock knock knock, I hear. They're gonna start to shout soon.
Knock knock knock knock! Oh hell yeah I'll be out soon.
Knock knock knock knock! It sucks he left me here alone.
Knock knock knock knock! Here in this teenage battlezone.
Clang clang clang clang! I feel the pressure blowing up.
Bang bang bang bang! My big mistake was showing up.
Splash splash splash splash! I throw some water in my face and I am in a better place.
I go to open up the door but I can't hear knocking anymore.
I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn or I'd offed myself instead, wish I was never born! I'm just Daniel who's a loner, so he must be a stoner. Dan flying solo, who you think that you know!
'Cause all you know about me is my name! I laugh cynically.
"Awesome party I'm so glad I came," I say before storming out of the bathroom and the house.
