When I got to my room, after the impeccable climb of the four stair cases, I found a note taped to its door. The paper was plain white college rulled and Dan was written across it is neat handwriting with a blue ink pen. I ripped it off and entered my room. I laid my bag on the floor and closed the door behind me, opening the note.
Dan,
Sorry I was a jerk at lunch. I still wanna be your friend. Please? See u tomorrow.
Xoxo Phil
I appreciated the apology. I admitted, we were both being dicks. Especially me because I'm an asshole who doesn't deserve to live. I wanted to be his friend too, but deep down I knew that was impossible. He would see my true colours and run. The only reason Cecile stayed was because she had nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to escape.
"I'm sorry Phil Lester. But I can't." I said, ripping the note in two, then four, then six pieces and tossing it in my silver waste bin. I could feel tears pricking my eyes but now wasn't the time. I had a headache coming and it was all the boy with seas in his eyes fault.
I feared the candles would come back to engulf me that night, but only voices echoing off the empty walls of my skull, screaming for mercy and forgiveness. I tried my best to tune them out with homework and music but it didn't work.
"Get out! Get out get out GET OUT!!!" I cried into my pillow. "Get out!"
They stayed until four am, which is when I finally slept.
