When It Rained

Chapter 17 - Tough Shit

Finley sat at the end of the mattress, her bare feet against the floor and head in her hands. It felt like the room was spinning, a result from a bad night of drinking. But that's not what she did. Finely barely remembered a damn thing from the moment she left the training room, after that- it all seemed to be a blur. 

It wasn't that she felt like she needed to throw up, it was that the room wouldn't stop moving. Even if her feet were planted on the ground, her world was a complete shit show. 

Waking up merely ten minutes ago, she tried to calm it down herself. Talking herself through it, rocking back and forth, laying down again, nothing seemed to help. Inside, she felt desperate for it to stop. 

Sucking down a long breath, Finley blindly reached behind her and let her hand wrap around Bucky's ankle. As soon as she knew it was his, Finn began shaking it somewhat violently. It was enough to send Bucky shooting upwards and looking to her in a panic. "Finn, what's wrong?" 

As squirmed to crouch in front of her, he failed trying to pull her face out of her hands. "The room won't stop fucking spinning." she groaned barely coherent. 

Thinking of the first thing he could, Bucky leaned over and pushed Steve off the bed waking him up. Immediately, the boy was looking to them with the same panic on his face that Bucky had a few seconds ago. "Go wake up Jack and make the soup, she's gotta eat something." 

Without a word, Steve was nodding and bolting for the stairs. 

Quietly, Finley shook his head. "You're scaring the kid." 

"Yeah, well-" he sat in front of her again so that her feet were in his lap. "-I'd never say it in front of him but you're scaring me." 

Her body completely froze altogether at his words. It was clear to see, but Finley made herself look upwards and into his eyes. "I heard you and Steve last night." she sighed. "I'm sorry about your moms." 

"It happened, nothing we can do about it now. It just looked a lot like this-" he shook his head and looked away from her. "came out of nowhere, couldn't eat anything, we don't want that to happen to you." 

Watching him actually look away first spoke levels to her. She read it that he was trying to hide his emotion, trying to hide the pain he still had towards the loss of his mother, he didn't want to seem weak in front of her. So, she wouldn't in front of him. 

Taking his hands from her calves, Finley held them in her own making him look at her. "I'm not going anywhere." she spoke with sincerity. "I already feel better than I did yesterday. My head is just a killer right now." 

"It's probably because you're hungry. I haven't seen you eat anything in god knows how long." 

Every time she spoke, a pang traveled through her head begging her to stop. But she needed to pretend, she needed to be okay for them. 

Nodding, she began pushing herself off the mattress only to be assisted by Bucky half way up. "I just really hope Jack isn't the one cooking- the guy will use Gin for the broth if he gets the chance." 

With a chuckle, Bucky stayed close by her as she slowly stepped towards the stairs. Seeing them, her mind began to depict just how she was going to tackle them, but Bucky had beat her to the punchline. Sweeping her up bridal style, the man began the first step. 

"Well I don't like this." she muttered feeling helpless in his arms. 

Smiling that charming smile that he always had on his face, Bucky looked down at her. "Tough shit." 

"Oh-" she tilted her head back grinning her own grin. "-so we developed an attitude over night." 

Behind her lower back and upper thighs, she could feel his hand gripping her tighter. "Well maybe switching roles isn't such a bad thing, more so ironic isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" 

Reaching the top of the stairs, Bucky and Finley both looked seeing Jack and Steve in their pajamas making her soup. "Well of course I'll take your sassy hardass attitude for the day-" their eyes went back to one another. "-as long you decide to keep that shirt off." 

Immediately chuckling, Finley focused only on him, the rest of the room spinning with his elongated steps. Bucky was her anchor, the only thing strong enough to keep her grounded. 

Sending a light swat to the back of his head, she rolled her eyes and took a seat in the bar stood he was placing her in. "How you feeling kid?" Jack asked. Letting her eyes follow Bucky as he rounded the bar to the other side, she smiled pulling away from his playful stare to Jack. "Better, think I'm just hungry. You use Gin or Brandy for the broth?" 

The wooden spoon worked it's way around the pot beneath his wrinkled old hands. Shaking his head, he laughed. "Nah, the kid wouldn't let me anywhere near it." He nodded towards Steve. 

"Steve knows how to cook?" She rose an eyebrow towards her friend. 

Immediately the thought froze her to her spot. Friend, her and Steve were actually friends. 

"Master at it too." Jack leaned against the counter as Steve started handing out bowls. "Kid's got a real talent." 

Taking the spoon from Bucky and the bowl from Steve, she studied Steve and the way he looked at her. It was like she was some type of wounded animal, like he was going to break her if she got to close. 

That's when she remembered though. His mother passed away because she wouldn't eat, because she was so sick. Steve was terrified that she wasn't going to eat. That's why he made sure the soup was made perfectly, the temperature just right. It was important to him that she ate, so that's just what she did. 

It didn't matter how long they sat there, or how unneasy she felt. Just for him, she made sure to ask for a second bowl. 

The three still had a long ways to go before getting Steve into the war, and all three of them needed to have as much strength as possible to do so. She would take care of her boys, and her boys would take care of her too. 

That's what it was now, and the past night made her realize it. 

They were her boys now- and she was their girl.