My Dream [Levi x reader]

The Expedition

The air was trully different beyond the walls. I couldn't believe I had lived my entire life so close to the outside world once I actually saw it. Looking at the other side of the wall, looking ahead with nothing but endless fields on the horizon. I felt free like the birds I had watched all my childhood fly back and forth over the wall, as if it didn't exist.

Erwin fired his smoke gun somewhere ahead of us and the formation split, with my squad going west.

Very soon after, we saw the first red smoke, signaling for titans somewhere in the front of the formation. We continued in the opposite direction and rode for about an hour, without seeing any titans. The sun hid behind the clouds and it started raining cats and dogs.

Then it came. The black smoke. The worst possible signal. Erwin shot, showing us a new direction. I kicked my horse in the ribs and sped up, but something on my left caught my eye.

"We count on you, bro." I heard Isabel said. She, Farlan and Levi were ridding so close to each other that they were breaking the formation. I was about to tell them to put some distance between themselves when I noticed. Levi nodded at both of them and then looked at me. 'Don't forget your promise' his eyes spoke to me. Then he turned around and rode off, Isabel waving at him. What was he doing?! Why didn't they stop him!

I looked around. The other soldiers were too far behind us and they didn't see his actions. I looked at Isabel. She nodded seriously at me. 'Ok, I'll trust you' I thought and sped forward.

I don't know how long it took. First I saw the black smoke - the worst possible signal then a kilometer ahead started apoearing the bodies. Pieces of people, limbs and blood, all leading to the monster with someone still in its mouth. Its eyes wre red and empty, but through them hate stared right back at us. Then it ran. It sped up right towards us. The captain was few meters ahead of Farlan, Isabel and me. I heard him coughing... Smash. Our Captain was dead. He didn't even get to launch out before he was brought down to the ground like fly. All those years, all that training... all ended for a second. And we were next.

I took a left turn and the gaint hand missed me by centimieters. No, it didn't miss. The monster grabbed Farlan and brought him up to his face. 'Alice' her name went like a flash through my thoughts, then my mind went blank. I jumped off my horse and tried to get to the titan using my gear. There was it! I was so close, I could save him! Crack. The titan closed its jaws and cut Farlan in half. I heard Isabel shout "Nooooo" It was the most terrifing sound I had ever heard. It was like death itself had screamed out of pure terror. Farlan's upper half fell on the ground. His eyes were wide open.

I landed on the ground. The titan stared at me. A few of my squad members had already launched out... and it killed them all. Ace included.

My clothes were covered in blood, my mind wouldn't start working at all and I felt numb. Then Isabel jumped in front of me. "You fucking, monster!" She launched out towards the titan. 'No... No.. No. No!" I could see again. I got back to my sences and launched after her. 'I'll protect her! I have to protect at least he-' the titan grabbed her. My world stopped. The skies fell and her scream cracked the earth to bring hell on earth. She struggeled in the titans hold. She kicked and fought. I was almost there. She had to last two more seconds... But that would have been way to good to be true. "Sis!" She screamed for help. The titan grabbed her head and reaped it from her shoulders, then threw it away. I fell on the ground next to her remains. I held her face in my hands. "Why... Why!" I looked around. Everyone was dead.

I let go of Isabel's face, her big emerald eyes were staring at me. I only dishonered her remains with my filthy touch. I didn't deserve to mourn her death. I had failed her. I had failed Farlan. I had failed my squad. I had failed Levi.

I rose up. Somewhere behind me I heard a horse come near. I didn't turn around. The titan reached forward to grab me and I jumped on its hand, then started slicing it as I ran towards its neck. I heard a scream and someone's launching.

His eyes had turned into black holes and he continued screaming as he jumped onto the titan and started slicing every piece of flesh he could reach. Together we cut the titan into pieces. Thousand of pieces.

In the end there was nothing left of the monster. I turned towards him. The pain in my chest grew with every second. He was crying, I could see his shoulders shaking. The blood on his clothes was slowly starting to disappear. "Where were you..." My voice was so quite I could hardly hear it. "Why did you leave... Where did you go..." He didn't hear me. I was about to get my answer.

Commander Erwin came with his squad. No one said anything, everyone started gathering the bodies. For hours I just stared at nothing. I was in too much of a shock to think.

When all bodies were finally collected, it was already early the next morning. Of the titan's corpse remained only the bones.

"Are you the only survivers?" Erwin asked. "How pathetic." Levi attacked him with his swords, but Erwin stopped the blade with his hand "I'm going to... kill you! That's why I'm here!" Levi shouted. Erwin reached under his cape and then threw a scroll on the ground, while still holding Levi's blade. "These documents revealing Lobov's crimes are fake. The real ones have likely reached Daris Zackley by now. Lobov is finished." Levi's eyes widened. "You knew everything right from the start! You knew we were after you! And yet yo-" He threw himself towards Erwin, but Mike stopped him. He struggeled for a moment, then he broke down on his knees. "Don't, you'll regret it. If you begin to regret you'll dull your future desicions an let others make your choices for you. All that's left for you then is to die. No one can foretell the outcome. Each desicion you make holds a meaning only by affecting your next desicion. We are going to continue the Expeditions. I expect you to come with me." Erwin turned his horse around and rode off.

I jumped on my horse. I needed to pu myself together and think, but for that I would need time. A lot of time.

And because I couldn't think I let my heaprt deside what I felt. I didn't let what I had just learnt throw its shade over the memories I had with Isabel and Farlan. I held firmly to my horse and continued forward after Erwin, leaving Levi behind. I tried not to, but I wished with all my heart he follow us if only for the sake of me seeing his face one more time. Because at this moment I couldn't stand to look at him.

After two whole squads were lost to a single titan there was not much left to do, but end the expedition. Three days. That was how much it lasted. The shortest expedition in the history of the regiment.

When we got back to Shiganshina people looked angry. They talked to each other about how useless we were and how we were a waste of their taxes. I was used to that from my dad's days of being a soldier and it didn't bother me at all. I was ridding next to the Erwin and Mike in the very front. I couldn't find the srength to look behind my back and see if Alice and Hanji survived. I looked at the crowd to look for my parents and I saw the three kids from before. The emerald eyes of the boy looked at me. He recognized me and smile brightly.

I was a mess. My heart was shattered and my body was at the point of collapsing out of exostion. But I smiled. I gave the boy a smile, forged in the fire of all my anger, made of all the hope I had left. He was shining with hapiness, because I had returned his smile. I noticed Erwin and Mike were looking at me, then they turned to each other. And I guess that that moment changed a lot later on in my life, because I too made a choice then:

To fight