My Dream [Levi x reader]

Our First Kiss

After the 50th expedition beyond the walls had ended we returned to our residence. When I saw Alice and Hanji were alive I was the happiest person on the planet, but Alice was depressed and Hanji and I could do very little to lift her spirit up. She needed time to recover from her lose and we could only wait and hope it helped.

Since Isabel and Farlan had no living relatives I had to deside what would become of their remains. But I knew I wasn't the only one, who had to have a saying in the matter. I found Levi at the stabels feeding his horse an apple. He petted the animal's head, then turned around to face me. "What do you want?" He asked.

"We need to dig graves for Farlan and Isabel." He looked away. "Do it yourself." I grabbed his shoulder and turned him towards me. "I'm much more to blame for their death than you! I don't deserve to be the one who burries them... Because... Because I'm filthy!" He looked at me. "Ok, then. I'll help you."

"Thank you." I nodded. We went to our rooms to change. Every soldier had their black uniform for funerals, but they were rearly used since death was way too common among us, and the black clothes were viewed as overdoing things. I put on the black cape with the Wings of freedom on the back and left my room.

It started raining and I and Levi carried the remains of our friends to a remote area, where we dug up two deep holes. At first I thought that Alice needed to be there as well, since it was her lover we were burrying, but I remmembered she had told me once how she didn't find any comfort in her parents' funeral and she later said her goodbyes to the moon instead to their grave stones.

After the holes were ready we laid the two down. I tried my best not to make any skin contact with Isabel's remains and I noticed Levi did the same fo Farlan. We cover the graves with dirt and placed a big stones above each of them.

When all was set and done we stepped back. The black hoods were covering our faces, but I could see he was crying and so was I. I reached my hand out for him and for my surprise he took it. We stood hand in hand for a while.

I felt comfort in his warmth. Suddenly he pulled me towards him putting one of his hands covered in dirt on my face. I put my arm around his waist and pressed our lips together. I pulled him closer to me. I wanted to feel every inch of his body close to me. I lifted my hand off his waist and with it pushed his hood back. My hand traveled through his black hair, which was much softer than it looked. His hand was still on my cheek and I put my own hand over it, gently running my finger over his skin. I shivered a bit and he held me closer. At that moment I would have traded my soul for us to stay like that forever.

But that wasn't happening. Our kiss wasn't a kiss between lovers. It was simply a kiss between two people, who shared the same sorrow and needed someone to comfort themselves with. What we were doing was wrong. We were kissing in front of the graves of the people we failed to protect. We were unworthy and unclean. He was a traitor and I was an oathbreaker. We were both filthy and that was why we were perfect for each other.

It might have been seconds or decades later, but when we broke apart I felt his warm breath, water still running down his face. I pu his hood back on and stepped back. We walked to the castel with out saying a word to each other, but I could still feel his lips on mine.

In the mess hall we attracted a lot of attention, wearing our black uniforms and sitting down on the empty table, that was supposed to be surrounded by our squadmates. We started eating when Erwin came to our table. I stood up and saluted, while Levi just looked up. "You are dismissed, (Y/n). Lets all just sit down I need to talk to you two." I went to the other side of the tabel and sat next to Levi. Erwin rose an eyebrow. "I see..." My messege was clear. "So (Y/n) you're a Captain now. I want you to be the new leader of this squad." "Is that for real, sir?" I looked around the tabel. The empty tabel. "Yes, (Y/n) I'm quite serious." He then turned to Levi. "And I want you to choose the people for your own squad." Levi tensed up next to me. Was Erwin toying with us? He was making us squad leaders - him, the one who tried to murder me and me... It was useless to even begin describing the reasons that that was a bad idea.

"What if we don't accept?" Levi asked Erwin. "Well there's no concret punishmet for 'not accepting', but I would advise strongly against it." I put the pieces together. Erwin had some kind of plan for the three of them from the begining and for me as well. "So, Commander, when was Captain Blake going to retiring." He smirked then his smile disappeared. "You really are clever. After the 50th expedition. I planned to let him retire early, because of his breathing problems and put you in charge of his squad. But he couldn't make it nor could his squad." I nodded. "But why me?" I asked. "I'll explain that some other time. Tomorrow I want you two to start choosing your squad members."

I nodded and looked at Levi. He looked like he couldn't care less. Erwin left and we were alone again. After dinner Levi and I rose up and walked together silently to the third floor, where we stopped.

"Who will you choose for your squad?" I asked him. "I don't yet. Someone, who wouldn't immidietly die." Of course. "Better choose newbies, no one likes to change squads and it's easier to make a good team out of people, who haven't 'bonded' with another leader yet." He nodded, suddenly turning all serious.

"You just don't want to be alone with all your guilt." That took me off guard, but I knew what I had to do. I take a step forward and took his hand. "I desided that my regrets will only cause the death of more people, I could otherwise protect." I really meant it. "What do you want from me then?" He asked. "I want you by my side, I want you to trust me so I can take care of you..." He frowned, but I could only smile. "Are you proposing to me, brat?" I took his other hand in my. "Not that way, but... We are stuck togerher, Levi. Lets keep it that way! Forever." He looked in my eyes so long that I started to get discouraged. 'Of course he would reject you... He just lost the two people he thought he would spend ''forever'' with.'

But he didn't reject me. He simply nodded, but it was more than enough. I felt something warm run down my cheeks. My tears dropped on our joined hands. "Hey don't cry, bra-" I jumped and hugged him. After a moment he hugged me back and we stayed like that for a while, neither eager to let go.

I stepped back first. "I'll see you tomorrow, Levi." He nodded again and I left for my room, still feeling warm inside.

'He smiled...'