effervescent | m. hummels & r. lewandowski

[ chapter four ]

Things were the same as before, maybe even worse. Robert had attacked me yet again and even with my crying pleas, he didn't show any mercy to my fragile self. I began questioning my mere existence, was I just a toy to my own husband? Did I hold no value to him? The man I married? The man who was the father of my child?

Was he even human?

It had been yet another day when I entered the house after his football practice and started yelling at me all of a sudden, even Clara came downstairs, only to find her parents arguing over god knows what.

"You should just get out of my life you know, I don't even know why I married you, you are the biggest mistake of my life." His eyes burned with rage, at every word that left his mouth, his hands forming fists on his sides.

Mine burned too, but not because of anger, but because of pain.

I can't do this anymore, please stop Robert, please have mercy on your wife, the mother of your child, your first kiss, your first everything.

"Why are you saying this all of a sudden? What happened, Rob--" My words were cut short at I received a blow to my right cheek. Tears stung my eyes and my mouth, agape. A churning feeling settled in the pit of my stomach -- a feeling that this will go on forever, he'll never change.

"I don't even wanna see you, get the fuck away from my sight, you bitch." I don't know what stung more, him slapping me yet again or our daughter watching this freakshow for the first time.

With tears blurring my vision, I ran out of the living room and towards the empty room upstairs. I closed the door with a thud and dropped to the floor, my back pressed against the wall and hands on my mouth, trying so hard to stop the sobs that escaped from time to time.

You're only keeping up with him for the sake of Clara, I reminded myself. Wiping away my waterworks, I dabbed my shirt's sleeves on my cheeks and then my eyes before going out of the room.

Only to see a crying Clara.

"Sweetie, why are you crying? There is nothing to cry about." I cooed, feeling my insides hurt.

Everything was wrong, everything.

"Daddy hit you," three words, all it took for me to start crying again. It was weird actually, mother and daughter crying for the same man, the one that's supposed to protect then from getting hurt in the world, yet, he was the one hurting them the most.

It's funny how the world works, no?

"Okay, okay, enough tears for a day baby," I put on my fake smiley facade and smiled brightly at Clara, for her sake solely. "Do you want to get ice-cream?" A frantic nod from her was enough for me to grab her hand and get out of the hellhole I called home. We both put on our shoes and hurried out of the place like there was no tomorrow.

How much I dreamed of leaving all this, oh just how much I wanted to burn down every memory of mine in this awful house.

We strolled through a park for sometime before finally arriving at an ice cream parlour. The place was lively, bright colours and all, for a moment, I forgot that I had an abusing husband at home.

It was peaceful, for some time at least.
"I'd like to have a chocolate one, mommy!" Clara boomed making me laugh, even the cashier who stood opposite of us from the counter.

The cashier nodded at us and I handed him a money bill, but before I could give it to him, someone had already placed their bills in his hand.

Confused, I turned around and saw Mats.