effervescent | m. hummels & r. lewandowski

[ chapter eleven ]

"Now, I'm not trying to stop you love, if we're not gonna do anything we might as well just fuck." --Sex by The 1975

Ara. Ara. Ara.

It was like all my brain could think about was Arabella Lewandowski. Nothing else registered in my mind and I swear, it was starting to scare the shit out of me. I wasn't able to concentrate only on the League games but also the international friendlies approaching in the near future. So it was no surprise that our head coach, the who I always saw as a gay individual, decided to drop me out of the national squad.

He had told me, "Hummels, get your shit together if you want a place on the team." Mind you, in German, which made it a hundred times scarier.

Now as I sat in my living room, a glass of wine in my hand, the television turned on in the dim lit room, and my mind on a certain beautiful woman like always, I actually felt bad for myself that I couldn't make a spot on the team because of this lack of concentration.

It infuriated me, but what else could I do about it?

I picked up my phone and looked at the home screen wallpaper, a smile spreading its way onto my face. It was a picture of Ara sleeping soundly the first time we had sex, with her eyes closed and her hair covering a small portion of her face, there was me, kissing her cheek with my eyes closed.

It felt heaven, she was my safe heaven, all mine.

The best thing about it was that Ara didn't know about it, which only made it even more thrilling when I contemplated her reaction whenever she saw this.

The only good thing about being home during these days was that I could see Ara any time without the fear of Robert walking in on us, because unlike me, he was on the Polish national team for the friendlies. However, I hadn't seen Ara for almost two weeks now, not even heard her voice and it had been bugging me ever since. When I wanted to see her, Robert was over and when she wanted to see me, I was busy with my football practice sessions.

It was like the universe didn't want us to see each other at all. It killed me that I could wake up to her beautiful face every day in bed, or join her over the breakfast table or anything else for the matter. It hurt me that I could not call her mine in front of everyone, kiss her in public or just even look at her.

Sliding my finger on the screen, I browsed through more of our photos of us, one was of from just a month ago when we had stood in front of the mirror in her dressing room and just made weird faces on the camera, there was also Clara in many, sticking out her tongue like the child she was.

I loved that child, more than I should.

The mere thought of being the best man for these two in a family was probably the thought that gave me the jitters.

I decided to see Ara and tell her about us in the future, tomorrow. Seeing that I couldn't see myself away from her, I knew I just had to and so I decided. If she accepts then I would probably cry in happiness but if she doesn't, I can't say anything about that. Every night I went to bed, knowing that Ara wasn't safe there haunted me like a nightmare.

It was my fault. If I claimed to love her as much as I did, I should protect her, and not leave her in that hellhole of a house. Tomorrow, it would be the day that I end her suffering, if only she complies with me and leaves him.

Tomorrow, I told myself, before slumber enveloped me right there on my couch.

• • • •

I TEXTED ARA that I would be out front on just a few minutes, as I rehearsed my speech in my mind a few more times, I found myself getting extra geared up, my hands became sweaty and even the cotton shirt I had on felt like it was closing up on me. I opened the first two buttons to get into my comfort zone a bit, strangely, it helped.

My hand found the hardwood door and in a few seconds, it was swung open, making me come face to face with the woman who had captured my heart and had practically gripped it right in between her palm.

No words were exchanged between us for the first few seconds. She looked at me, and I, at her. Suddenly, there was no better sight than watching her in the silk white night gown she had on. Slowly, she stepped forward and grabbed my hand, pulling me in with a swift motion, the next thing my mind registered to was cold lips pressing up against my own ones, so agonizingly slow, unlike the rest of the times we had kissed.

We stood there, our breathes mingled, our forehead pressed against each other, our voices inaudible but our eyes giving away thousands of screams and echoes, calling for help. I put my two fingers on her lips, feeling my breathing hitch when her breasts pressed up against my chest.

What a fucking turn on she was.

No words were uttered.

She lead me to the bedroom which I had become all too familiar with, the paint on the wall, the soft carpeted floor, everything. Ara made me sit on the bed and moved to pull over my shirt but I pulled free.

Ara looked confused, "Mats? What happened?" when I didn't say anything she put a finger under my chin and made me look up, right into her beautiful emerald eyes. "We-- we met after more than two weeks, and you don't want to touch me?" she stated, almost hurt. She laughed dryly when I didn't say anything, "Jesus fuck, you're making me feel like a slut, Mats."

"You're anything but that, love." I finally said, taking her hand in my own, I made her sit on my lap over the bed, Ara's arms looped around my neck and I nuzzled my face in her neck, breathing in her effervescent scent.

Effervescent, the perfect word to describe us, breathing for each other, ready to even wilt like a flower for each other, but held back by the other flowers in the garden.

"Mats? What's wrong, babe?" She mumbled against my forehead.

"Ara--" I gulped, "There is something I need to ask you." By now, the hair on the back of my neck was standing. "But before that, I need you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, I don't recall myself being this head over heels for someone, you make me the happiest man alive, everything about you makes me go fucking crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way. All I can think of is you, I can't think about my career, my practice sessions, my matches, my family, fucking anything else except you, it's like every road and avenue winds back to you." I breathed, "It's surreal how easily I have placed my heart right in the middle of your palm and told you to have it, all of it. You're all I want. And-- and, I can't see you like this anymore."

At that, she stiffened in my arms.

"I can't see you like this anymore, Ara. He hurts you, and that's not how I can see you, you're not safe here and you know it. Even Clara isn't safe here. Who knows what else will he do to you in the future? If I love someone, I protect them Ara, and you're on that list, whether you like it or not. You and Clara, I love you both. You need to leave all this, please."

As my speech neared the climax, Ara squinted her eyes at me, it was clear I wasn't making any sense, even I knew that.

"Mats, what are you trying to say?" She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, as I pulled it free with a finger on her chin and kissed her slowly, hungrily, because it might as well could be the last time I kiss her if she refuses to my offer. What made me smile in the kiss was that she responded with equal hunger and passion, matching my rhythm.

"Just say what you want to, you're scaring me." She breathed, pressing her forehead against my own ones.

Then, almost in a whisper, I closed my eyes, contemplating the worst in my mind.

"Marry me."

________

Major Cliffhanger, you all, don't kill me. What do you think she'll say to him? xx