Misconceptions 》Styles

14.00

 thank you so much for all of the feedback on the last chapter, you are all so incredible and i'm going to love you forever. all of those votes and comments made me more happy than you could ever imagine so thank you to every last one of you, even silent readers for at least reading it. i love you all with my heart and soul <3 x

      I wake up in my bed, sweating and covered in all the blankets I had around the house. I must have been shaking. He must have put them on me.

    The sunlight is pounding at my head and all I want is to crawl under the duvet and never come out, but I know I can’t. I have responsibilities, I have a facade to keep running, and I have to explain myself to Randy and Harry. I skipped the dinner that was so very important to her, and I did the absolutely worst thing I could have ever done in front of Harry. He had seen me throw up, that was an easy cover up. He had seen me skip meals, a few words concealed that too. But how could I explain the events of last night? What could I possibly say to make him forget? I could blame it on him, make him feel guilty. It wasn’t exactly a lie, he was the cause for every single thing wrong with me and well, there were quite a few of them. Or I could act as if it never happened, that seemed to always be the best default plan.

    I push the blankets off of me and sink my feet into the wooden floor, the cold sending goosebumps racing along my exposed flesh. A small yellow post-it peeks out from under a bowl on the dresser, a ring of water causing some of the words to bleed. I walk over to the dresser and push the bowl aside, not caring for the omelette full of cheese and peppers and ham and everything that will drip into my veins and kill me. The writing on the post-it is rushed and sloppy; Harry. I push my hair away from my face and begin to read the note, curling my fingers around the bowl as I do so.

    Sky, I’m sorry I had to leave you, but I had a sound check. Modest wants to make arrangements with Randy so I can divide my time more evenly. Please eat, I’ll be back later. We have to talk about what happened. Don’t think that I don’t care, because I do.

    “Bullshit,” I mumble, heading into the bathroom and flushing the omelette down the toilet, leaving only a slice of ham in the bowl to convince him further. I drop the bowl into the sink then change quickly, struggling to move and focus. The smell is overpowering, it sends my brain into a frenzy. I want to eat, I need to eat. I want the headaches to go away, I want to be powerful again.

    You’ll be powerful once you lose the weight. No one wants a fat girl. No one.

    Just think, if you stay away from the food, you can be perfect. It’s what you’ve always wanted. What we’ve always tried for.

    Don’t give up Skylar, be strong.

    Don’t eat. Don’t eat. Don’t eat. Be strong. Survive.

    Stay away from Harry, stay away from the poison, don’t listen to him.

    The voices are right. I don’t need it, I don’t want it. I can be strong.

+++

    “Hello?” I say, panting and sprawled out on the grass, struggling to breathe. It’s Randy, her voice an angry shriek as she tells me each and every thing wrong with me. It isn’t anything out of the ordinary, everyone knows I’m a screw up.

    “What on earth is wrong with you Skylar?! I just got out of a meeting with Harry and his management team and let me tell you, the whole time all I could think about was how many different ways I could kill you. You nearly screwed up the deal with Davie, did you know that? You and Harry go running off to your flat for the night when you know, you know, that we had a business dinner. What gives you the nerve? Why would you do that?”