Misconceptions 》Styles

15.00

     I spun around quickly, eyes wide and hands up in the air. "No, no! You can't do that Harry, you don't have the right to say that to me, what is wrong with you?"

     "Skylar, please don't." His voice breaks and he quickly stands up, his body mere inches away from mine. "I know what I did was stupid, but please, hear me out."  

     "I've heard what you have to say, and I have no interest in listening to any more of it." I turn around and walk away from him as quickly as I can, wishing more than anything the ground would swallow me whole. He loved me? Loves me? It's ridiculous. I don't want to be tricked anymore, I can't play these games any longer. 

     Of course it's ridiculous, who could love you? 

     You're so disgusting, how can you stand the sight of yourself? 

     Freak; you big, fat, ugly freak. 

     Can't you do anything right? 

     Die, die, die. No one's going to care. 

     Can't think of anyone who would miss you... 

     Waste of space, slob, slut, attention whore.  

     Ooh, does it sting? Look in the mirror, see what a mistake you were. Bet mommy and daddy 

wish you were never born. 

     Just a little more hunger a little more pain, then maybe you'll be pretty. Perfect. Thin. Worth it. 

Maybe someone will care. Maybe just maybe, the whole world wouldn't want you to kill yourself.  

     Fat ass. 

     You're weak.  

     So weak. You don't need food. Or maybe you do...since you're such a stupid fat ass.  

     You're not hungry, you're just stupid. So stupid.  

     The insults are swarming over me, overwhelming and driving me insane. I can't take it. I sink to my knees and drive my palms into my eyes, trying to get the tears to stop flowing. A sob shatters through my body and my head is spinning, spinning, spinning.  I have to keep going. But I'm so tired, so weak. I can't go on anymore. I push myself up with a groan, but crumple to the ground again. I begin dragging my body across the grass, trying to ignore the black dots swarming my vision. My mouth tastes like copper, like blood. My head is pound, pound, pounding. I reach the steam in the field and push myself forward, letting out a small yelp as the ground forces pressure on the large bruise I have at my side. I keep on screaming until I am engulfed underneath the water. I am smiling, sinking, being taken away. I am fall, fall, falling. I let the blackness consume me. 

+++ 

  "Skylar, Skylar wake up! Get up, get up right now Skylar." My body is heavy and I am laying in a block of ice, freezing temperatures burning through my bloodstream. A hand slaps my cheek a few times and there is someone yelling. Yelling, yelling, yeing, panicking as they try to get me to wake up. "Come on, please. Please get up." I do, not because I want to, but because my body forces me to. I gasp and spit out what seems like a gallon of water, teeth immediately chattering. I was sitting in ice. A bathtub full of zero degree water and a million ice cubes. Harry is in front of me, sighing in relief as he slips his arms underneath my armpits and tugs. I'm wearing a long sleeved red shirt I've never seen before and grey sweatpants. I'm in a bathroom I don't know, and Harry is prattling; his voice loud and on a loop as he brings me to to my feet. His words are jumbled together and I don't bother trying to listen, I just stand and shake, wishing I could sleep. Wishing I could be left alone without Randy bothering me or Harry or Raoul or my mother or the demons or anything. I just wanted it to stop.