Sweat was rolling down my forehead, more sweat than I ever thought my body could produce. This type of dancing and training was like nothing I've done before, in fact I had no idea my body could feel so out of shape. A couple dancers near by talked about the protein smoothies they drank as a cleanser a week before and the supplements they took to stay healthy. Everyone seemed more prepared than me, I felt like I was the odd one out, the only person missing something.
The grueling 7 hours later, then we were dismissed, how was that only day 1? My heart hadn't settled down until I got to my room, and still then I was tired and sore. Thankfully the show is luxurious enough to give each dancer a suite but I was most thankful for the Epsom salt they provided. Even the hotel was more prepared than me. Tossing my jacket to the side, it hit the wall then the floor finding its temporary place on the floor. Instinctively my shoes were sat next to the bed, my hands working on taking my hair out. The view outside my window was nice, for the 6 hours I was in my room to sleep. The city lights were alive, inviting night crawlers or those who come out and live life at night to join the scenery. Below the balcony, bundles of people headed in directions pointing to clubs and bars, restaurants and alleys.
I was already home sick, and by home sick I mean Tom sick. I missed him. It had only barely been two days since I've arrived here and already I craved his attention and overall comfort. Never had I appreciated his company fully until now.
Grabbing the stack of clean towels I made myself a spa in the bathroom. Soft holiday music reminded me of London, being with family and friends. I planned scenarios in my head of everything I wanted to do this holiday. The epsom salt relaxed my musicales that were tense and stiff from hours earlier. Sinking into the water fully, I shuffled the bubbles around my entire body and neck fully covered, then laid there and muddled with my thoughts.
My dad called and we talked for hours, I missed him so much, so much it hurt. In fact I missed Canada, the people and their overall friendliness, everyone in Hollywood was independent, it was every man for himself, no one liked to help. I was in a bad state of mind, so negative, and so tired.
The idea of getting up tomorrow and doing it all over again made my head hurt. I loved dancing, it is my life, but I don't know if this industry here in Hollywood is for me.
••••
I sighed, pulling a tank top over my head, careful to not pull a muscle putting my underwear on. My legs ached and throbbed, my arms felt stiff and sore, the Epsom salt helped a little. Flipping up my laptop, I scrolled through the millions of emails I hadn't read. A slight bing notified me that I was getting a FaceTime call. My heart seemed to smile for the first time that day. "Hey" I smiled, holding the laptop on my legs.
"Hey baby, how are you doing?" His voice cracked, as he carried his phone to the counter. It was morning in London, and his voice and hair signaled he just got up.
"I'm okay" I smiled with my lips with a slight shrug. He didn't seem to buy it but also didn't question it. "How are you?" Reaching over I turned on the lamp next to my bed, so I could better see.
"I'm good, I have a couple meetings today, and some training before I leave to Montreal" he propped his phone up so he could make some coffee. His back muscles were everything, I had a perfect view. "How was your first day?"
"I don't really wanna talk about it" I sighed, watching he turned around slightly, drinking out of the milk jug in the fridge.
"Aw why not" he smiled, "I didn't wake up at 4 am to just talk about me, I wanna know how it went" he leaned in front of the camera, his hair laying in different directions.
"I felt like I couldn't keep up, everyone here seems like they've been preparing their whole lives for this moment."I finally let it all out. He was a good listener, just stood their letting me rant, hearing me out.
"Ellis, you're beyond prepared, trust me, they aren't the only ones who has danced all their life." He shook his head, not giving into my doubts. "Besides if they didn't want you there they wouldn't have asked" he smiled. He was right, he knew he was right... more importantly I knew he was right.
Tomorrow could be better, "it would just be better if you were here" I smiled warmly and inviting. He tossed a few blueberries into his mouth, picking up his phone again. "I know, I wish I was there too" he sighed. "But hey, I'll see you soon, and when I do we can do whatever we want" he reassured me.
"Okay" I smiled, "I should probably go to bed" I sighed, pulling the covers over my legs, scooting back on the bed.
"Already" he groaned, throwing his head back, "okay" he propped his arms behind his head, "you're gonna be fine, tomorrow will be better I promise" he winked.
"Thank you" I laughed, "I love you" I said laying back on my pillow. "Love you too" he replied.
•••
As I laid there, I set my alarm to 5am. Scrolling through my Instagram I liked a couple pictures, then headed to Snapchat, watched a couple stories, replied to some snaps, then finished by playing Tom back in cuppong on I message, he was winning. Eventually drifting off to sleep
