In a hurry, i tried my best not to run into people walking towards me. Already I was late to class and on top of that I hadn't finished any of my assignments that week. "I'm so sorry!" I nearly hit shoulders with a stranger, turning to give me a stink eye. With my bag around my shoulder, I adjusted it, checking the time on my phone. I debated on whether I should just not show up, class was almost over anyways. Slowing down to a steady walk I stopped just in front of the school. Walking up the steps, people piled out, class dismissed. "You have to be kidding me" I whined, people in a hurry to leave.
Text messages
Tom
I miss you already
Ellis
Well lucky for you I missed class so I'm free the rest of the night
Tom
Shit really?
Ellis
Yeah😬
Tom
Well I'm on set right now, but how about I meet you back at the place and I'll pick up dinner
You can sleepover if you want
Ellis
That sounds perfect
Okay
Tom
I'll try to get out here quick cause I'm starving
Ellis
Okay no problem, I'm gonna just use the dance studio for a bit
Tom
Okay, see you soon
••••
Sighing as I sat down down my bag it was a little bit weird bringing my stuff over to technically our house. But there was no other way, Tom and I diffidently are friendly but by no means have either of us talked about moving in together again. It didn't bother me though, I kind of liked the reassurance of not rushing into anything again. But boy was I in love with him.
With some soft holiday music on, I just stretched on the studio floor. I used to spend hours among hours in this room, I missed it. In fact he didn't have pictures of us up anymore or anything that was obviously mine. Which is obvious since he was with someone else for a while. Honestly It was kinda funny noticing the little things that changed since we broke up. The house was cluttered, and his stupid boxers were on the floor again. Rolling my eyes with a smile I found my self in front of what was once going to be a nursery. That was the only room that was completely clean, everything was gone, instead there was just a couch with some suits and tuxedos laid out. Like nothing ever occurred in that room. I assumed it was his way of erasing all memories of the event but i couldn't help but wonder what it was like for him, to be alone.
"Hey" I heard a voice from down stairs, followed with some commotion of ruffling bags and car keys.
"The room-" I said walking down the steps. He glanced up, waiting a bit then finally understanding what I meant.
"Yeah, that was the first thing I had to change, I couldn't keep walking past it it was like a reminder. " he shrugged, leaning against the counter. I could see how much it still hurt, he wasn't very good at showing emotions other than when he was playing a character which was ironic. But I could read him so easily, I could tell there were many sleepless nights, and drinking until everything was black, and long showers, not to mention loneliness.
"Tom, I never really got to tell you how sorry I am, truly, and not just for lying to you but that I couldn't give you what I know you wanted so badly but won't admit" I rested my arms on the railing, leaning forward as I watched his expressions.
To my surprise he smiled softly, "it hurt at first but eventually I was just mad at myself, I kept pushing you away, I kept blaming you, but I don't think I would have handled it any differently" he said a bit more serious now. For once in a long time I didn't feel so empty, or lost, maybe it was forgiveness or maybe it was just the moment but I couldn't stop hugging him. My arms around his torso, my head laying on his chest, I loved having him so close.
••••
"Wait, you did what?!" I laughed, holding my knee up with my other arm as I sat at the table.
"Yeah, I'm not kidding, I was so drunk I woke up the next day in the women's bathroom on the toilet" he cringed at his own story as if it haunted him.
"Of target?" I asked again, still laughing as he ate his Chinese food. "Yeah" he laughed, "I swear to god if you tell anyone that- especially bea!" He pointed at me with a smile. "She'll never let it go"
Crossing my heart I smiled, "your secrets safe with me" scooping remaining yogurt out of my cup I finished it off. It was dark out, but the kitchen lights were bright, as well as the outside lights- other than that it was dark.
Walking back down stairs he had a few board games in his hands, looking down as he flipped one over, "okay we have monopoly, life and shoots and ladders... your choice" he smiled. This time he had plaid pajama pants on and a sweater, truly comfy.
"What about, shoots and ladders first" I smiled, grabbing my things, "I'll be right back in going to change." Running up the steps lightly, I set my things out on the counter in the guest room, putting on shorts and a light pink California t shirt. Standing infront of the mirror I wiped off my lipstick and small amounts of concealer along with the remains of mascara.
••••
"Okay first and for most we need a punishment for the loser" he sat back on his hands, glancing around the room. Sitting infront of the fireplace it warmed my back as I stretched out.
"What about... loser has to eat a whole lemon" I smiled, watching him cringe shaking his head, "too bad I don't have lemons " he shrugged with a relieved smile.
"What about loser has to jump in the lake" he glanced outside. It was dark and the lake hadn't been swam in since it was becoming colder months.
"No way, that literally freaks me out, not at night no way" I shook my head after getting a closer look at it, imagining all the animals that could grab me and pull me under.
"Oh come on! You'll probably win anyways" he laughed. That was true I was typically better at games than he was, but somehow I agreed to it. "Okay- fine, but I suggest getting towel ready" I laughed. There was no way I was letting him win.
