Crazy Baby

Chapter 8; Kim Seokjin

Trigger warning ahead!

    My eyes squeeze shut as daddy's lips and tongue attach to my mouth. My butt hurts as he moves my new toy in and out of that no no place. As he continues, though, flashes of a man and woman come to mind. Eomma? Appa? I can't really...remember...but they seem familiar.
What's also familiar is the feeling daddy's forcing out of me now. Why? It feels good...but...no...somethings wrong. Very wrong...what...

Flashback, age 10

"Jinnie, honey, your appa wants to see you in his office, ok? Be a big boy and see what he wants." Eomma coos as she grabs her purse and walks out the door.
I drag my feet as I reluctantly go to see appa. I hate him. He's so scary and always mad at me. No matter what I do. He's so mean.
He's waiting, propped against the edge of his desk with arms crossed as I enter. His eyes glare at me making me shrink back in fear. "Close the door, now." He demands and I quickly do so.
I walk to stand in front of him, sniffling. His hand caresses my cheek. "Such a pretty little boy. How are you ever going to be a man like this, huh? You're too pretty to be of much use. You should have been born a girl." He scoffs before smacking my cheek hard. I gasp at the sting and my eyes water.
"Appa...I'm s-sorry..."
"Shut up! Good for nothing!" He grunts. He turns away and walks around his desk, sitting down. "Did your mother leave?" He asks.
Swallowing hard, I nod.
He clicks his tongue before motioning with a finger for me to come forward. I walk around and stand before him. He pulls me into his lap and pulls my head back by my hair. It hurts but I don't cry.
He leans forward and kisses my neck. It makes my tummy hurt as he sucks and licks on my skin. "Such a pretty boy..." He coos mockingly before slipping his hand inside my shorts.
I panic and jerk away. He glares at me before forcing me over his desk and pulling my shorts and underwear down. "How dare you deny my touch? Are you better than me, huh? Bad boys get punished." He growls before smacking his hand down hard on my butt. I scream and grip the edge of his desk hard as tears cascade down my cheeks as he spanks me painfully again and again leaving welts on my bare skin.
"A-appa! P-please..." I gasp out through my sobs. He finally stops but doesn't pull my shorts back up, instead he gropes my cheeks roughly before forcing them apart. I whine and shudder from shame. He's looking at soma place no one should see.
"So pretty..." He tsks, poking at my sensitive hole while I cry. I want Eomma...
"Stop crying, Seokjin! Big boys don't cry. Stop acting like a little girl!" He yells, pushing his finger inside me. I scream from the pain but my head is just pushed down on his desk, my mouth muffled. "Shut up! Useless child!" Appa screams as he stands and removes his belt.
    I sob as he brings the belt over my skin again and again. When he's done, he forces me to strip naked and climb on his desk. He always uses humiliation as punishment but he's never went this far before. I shiver as I sit naked on his desk as he paces back and forth mumbling angrily to himself.
     Finally, he returns and pushes me down. I gasp as he rubs at my chest making me uncomfortable. Tears leak continuously down my cheeks as he pulls his pants down just under his privates, moving his hand back and forth over it for some reason.
     My eyes widen as he brings his privates to my butt and forces my legs apart. "If you're going to act like a girl I'm going to treat you like one! At least that'll make you good for something." He growls before pushing his hard privates into my buff. I scream and push at his chest to stop him but he only flings my hands away and pushes deeper inside.
    It feels like I'm being impaled by hot iron and I choke on my cries as he begins moving his hips fast, my small body being forced to slide up and down on his desk painfully, leaving angry marks on my skin alongside the welts from his hand and belt.
     Appa...please....s-stop....it h-hurts...
     He doesn't stop. For a long time. When he finally does, he forces me into the bath to clean the icky stuff out of my butt and puts me to bed as eomma comes back home.
      I cry myself to sleep as eomma comes to kiss my cheek and check on me for the night, not knowing the way appa has punished me.
     That's only the beginning. Before the accident.

Present

    As daddy- Dr. Kim-leans down to kiss me again, I kiss him back the way I remember appa used to. Why couldn't I remember? All this time...why I'm like this...
     "Are you ready for more, Jin? I want to show you how it feels to be a big boy..." he groans against my skin.
     I nod hesitantly. Maybe appa was right all along. Maybe this is all my good for.