House of Paper and Wax

8

I've always felt myself as independent. I had to be from a young age. My parents worked often, and being the only child, it was up to me to entertain and care for myself after school. Being by myself never really bothered me, when I was actually by myself, anyway. It was being alone while in a crowd of people that always got me. Because I was so accustomed to being quiet, I came across as shy, or odd, to others. Kids at school played in groups, while I kept to myself and played off on my own. It wasn't until I hit young adulthood when I really tried to come out of my shell. That's when I found the world of arts, and I found more people like me, as I ventured off to an arts college. I went to study psychology, but found myself more interested in learning the art of writing. I attended classes until my senior year, and that is when Max and I decided to move into an apartment together off campus. We had been together since the summer before our freshman year in college, and moving in together just seemed like the practical thing to do at the time. Max was so much bolder than I, and I always gave him credit for helping me get over my social awkwardness. He was a basketball fanatic, but I just supported him from afar. Sports were just not my thing. We had a good system for that, however, and his games and practice times, were my time to write. It worked well, and when we both graduated, it worked out pretty much the same way when he began coaching. At first he begged me to just stay at home and let him work. But we couldn't survive on just one budget and pay rent. That was when he asked me if I wanted a surprise, and when I asked what it was, he replied, "I can only tell you after you marry me." His eyes were sparkling, his face was lit in a glow of mystery and excitement, and I was just as thrilled by the fact he had popped the question. I didn't hesitate for a second, and I said "yes!" He wouldn't tell me until our wedding night, what it was he had planned for a surprise. Ladies, I will tell you, I did everything I could to try and solve the surprise.
This was a time in life where I lived for Max's little surprises.
I knew the secret he had been keeping from me was huge, considering how long he was making me wait for it. 5 months I grilled him with questions every day, and he just would smile and say "you'll see, my queen." I thought it might be where he planned on taking us for our honeymoon, considering, he wouldn't let me plan one. As we drove away from our wedding reception, cans dragging behind us, rice in our hair, and the sunset gleamed through the back window marked "just married", Max smiled and kissed me. "Well it's time to let the secret out, but we have to go to my parent's house first." I agreed, elated from the perfect wedding day we just had together. I felt as if I were living the dream. Life just seemed so new...so fresh.
We pulled into the drive way, as the evening began to fade into darkness. The automatic porch lights lit up as we approached the doorway. We made our way to the front door, and he scooped me up in his arms. I was confused. "Babe, you aren't supposed to do this until we go into OUR house, not the first house we go into!" He laughed, and said, "I know, but can you turn the knob for me? I have my hands a little full."
Rolling my eyes and laughing, I turned the knob as he kicked the door open and carried me over the threshold.
"Welcome home, my lovely wife!"
I looked around confused, and noticed the whole place was empty of any furniture.
"Wait. What---" I stammered.
"This is it! Our surprise! My parents have given us the house as our wedding gift. God Kat, this has been so hard to keep quiet!"
I moved a little so he would put me down. I couldn't say anything. This was big. A house. A free house. I could be the stay at home wife he had hoped for me to be.
Now, the proper thing for someone to do in a moment like that would to be thankful. To be joyful, happy, to react greatful. But no. Not me. Not right then. Too much was hitting me all at once. I had just gotten married, and even that hadn't really hit me until that moment he had been waiting for since the day I said yes to marrying him. He kept such a huge surprise, it had to be quite the challenge to keep this from me. My reaction, to be quite frank, was the exact opposite of what anyone should do at a moment like this. I was quiet, and I stood there  with a frown. He was looking at me with an open mouth grin, hands out at his sides, "Well, my bride, what ya think!?"
Again, I frowned, silent and looked at Max totally stunned, half my mind racing, while the other half drew a total blank. I have never been the best when it comes to any type of grace, social grace, physical grace... I had none. So I don't know why he thought my reaction would even be close to anything normal  or even cheerful.
His open mouth grin, began to close and fade into the same type of frown I still had plastered on my dumbstruck face. I don't know if he was intentionally mimicking me to break the silence, or if he was starting to figure out all of the things my mind wouldn't let my mouth say. So, knowing it was well past my cue to say um, anything at all, ANYTHING about how the surprise was so great, well, my mouth did exactly the opposite instead.
"Um. Well, looks like I get to stay here and let the house become my life. New wife equals stay at home for the rest of our life."
He blinked.
I blinked.
More frowns.
More silence.
"Well," Max stammered confused, "that was not really what I was going for..." he scratched his head.
Yeah. Me either, I thought. This isn't Bermuda. This isn't Japan. This isn't even florida. This better not be our honeymoon destination or I'm annulling this marriage tomorrow. I joked in my head.
"Why are you smirking?" He asked.
Crap. Guess I was throwing out more of my skills on social grace. I didn't notice the frown had turned to a crass smirk across my face. Well since I've already made this such a great moment, I'll just go ahead and say it.
"Max, is this where we also get to spend our wedding night, before we go somewhere you planned for us to go for the honeymoon, or is this it, this is the exciting place you planned to keep me in FOR THE REST OF MY ADULT LIFE!?"
Please Max. Please say you planned for us to go somewhere great.
"Uh" he looked at the floor. So did I. I frowned again. I hate this stupid carpet. It's not the 70's, and hasn't been for several decades. Pea green Shag carpet, that's my fate. Fucking great.
Ok. Now many people might think I was being dramatic, or ungreatful, but let me just add for effect, his parents sense of style was bizzar, ok. It was so out of date. So very very not my taste. It was to be quite blunt, it was ugly and my honeymoon was turning into a night where all I wanted to do was repaint the whole damn place just so I could open my eyes without getting a 1970's color overload headache.
"Kat. Come on. Lighten up. We can do whatever you want. Heck, lets sell this place and we can get a new one, if you want. It's the free mortgage I wanted you to feel relief from. I will give you the world, just takes some time, whatever you want..."
Ok, I thought. Yeah, I'm being a total brat. I smiled a sly smile and slowly crept closer to him.
"You're such a brat, Kat." He laughed.
"Better to be a brat Kat, than A mad Max, I suppose."
He laughed and gave me a swift pat on the ass. "Max goes mad when Kat is a brat, so head to the bedroom, my kitty Kat.
I played along with the whole sharade. I was greatful for the financial relief and the thought of it all. But even though I settled into his planned out honeymoon house date, all I could do was fake my pleasure during our wedding night love session, while secretly all I could think about was what colors of paint I am gonna use  and how many coats it would take me to cover up so much ugly damn paint.