Like a Tattoo (Raura)

Chapter 8

Laura's POV

I desperately try to pull away, but the passion in Ross's body is too strong. His arms refuse to yield to me no matter how much I attempt to put pressure on his chest with my hands or move my head away. The latter action only makes his mouth chase mine repeatedly until he's satisfied with our body contact.

One thing's for sure, and it's that Ross doesn't mean for this action to prove anything to me. I already know he hasn't given up on his feelings for me. This means something different.

He knows there's no chance this kiss is the first aid for our friendship. Rather, in some twisted way, it's Ross's way of telling me he's not giving up. Whether soon or in the far future, my romantic conflicts with him aren't over.

I begin to kiss him back passionately, but with false sincerity just like I used to, so maybe he'll soften his grip on me. Ross tugs on my bottom lip with his teeth, then pulls himself away ever so slightly while expecting me to open my mouth, and I seize the opportunity to abruptly yank myself away from Ross's grasp.

My gaze never leaves his face as I watch the grin dwindle away while our loud breaths synchronize. "W-Why did you do that?" I dare him to state something other than my theory.

Ross tugs on the end of his shirt to smooth out the wrinkles I left. "Listen, Laura," he takes a step closer to me, "You have to understand it's not as easy for me as it might be for you to get over this. Our relationship really meant something to me and it's not something I can or want to forget with the snap of a finger."

I step back from Ross so he can't take me by surprise again. "Of course I understand that, but kissing me isn't going to make everything better. I care about you and I don't want you to keep having these feelings. You're only going to be hurt again when I don't reciprocate what you feel for me."

I can tell Ross wants to draw me into his embrace again, but we know it's not the right occasion. "You have no perception of the agonizing pain I feel every time I think of you and I'm reminded of how you're not mine anymore. I'm trying my best to get over you, but it's mercilessly insulting because you've subconsciously tattooed yourself onto my skin."

I let out a sigh, "It's hard for me too, okay? I wish more than anything that things were the way they used to be, but after what's happened between us, I have no idea of how or if we'll get back to that."

Awkwardly I attempt to float my eyes in a different direction, but Ross's stay glued to mine. "What you say doesn't change how I feel. There's no way of knowing when I'll be over you, Laura. It could be next week, it could be another six months. My point is, I can't stop these feelings for you just because you want them to stop."

I knew his truth would come out at one point, but I wish so bad that it hadn't. "No, Ross... this shouldn't happen between us. You're-"

"I'm what? In love with you? Because there is nothing that could be more true."

I stare down at the floor, embarrassed and flustered at this conversation's outcome. "Look, I have to go right now. I'm going to be late."

As I turn around to leave, Ross lightly pulls on my hand, but I ignore it. I'm done pretending to blush every time he reaches out to touch me.

From LA to London, I'm about to leave him behind.

Ross's POV

I close the door once Laura's out of sight, knowing I've officially lost her. I thought I had lost her when she wasn't responding to my texts, but now it's official.

Laura won't be giving me a second thought and I don't blame her. I haven't given her space to recollect herself. Instead I've been that pitiable guy who forlornly sends texts to the girl he loves but never had a chance with.

In fact, I've fucked up with her so many times in one way or another, it's surprising I didn't lose Laura sooner. First, I yelled at her when we broke up and made her feel too ashamed to confront me, and then out of lust for forgiveness I kissed her when it had no chance of improving our relationship. I have no excuse to be with Laura if I keep doing these things to her. No wonder she finds reasons to leave me.

My phone lies nearby on the living room couch, and I lunge for it in order to text Laura. Then I remember I can't. No matter how much I want her to take the time to reply to me and how much I don't want to lose touch with her, I have to give Laura space for once. If I make one wrong, too aggressive move with her, it's over for us.

Laura's POV

Overly tired and jet lagged from the twenty hour long flight to London there's nothing more relieving than collapsing on the bed in Vanessa's guest bedroom in her apartment. Those two suitcases I left by the door will be unpacked tomorrow. For now I'll lie here until Vanessa comes back from work, and fingers crossed she'll have dinner ready shortly after she returns.

I check my phone for the hundredth time after my plane landed, searching for messages or missed calls from Ross. There haven't been any to notify me and it's weirdly beginning to scare me. If he hasn't tried to contact me, then it could be a possibility he's giving up on us, relationship-wise and friendship-wise, though I thought he wouldn't.

Strangely enough, I don't think I want Ross to give up on me yet. Though I have no desire to be his, the thought of losing him chokes me.

If he's not going to make a move on me, then I'll have to do so on him. I debate with myself for a while over what to text Ross, and when I debate with myself I usually win. The runner-up option is shamefully admitting I already miss him, but I can vividly imagine how pathetic I would appear. Granted, it also might relieve some of the pressure on Ross, given how awkward and uncomfortable we've been recently.

After running through the list of pros and cons for that scenario, I conclude that the cons outweigh the pros, so I settle my mind on texting to tell Ross I'm in London for a few months. When I send the text I power off my phone, not yet prepared to see Ross's reaction if he were to reply immediately.

***

Woo woo!

Christmas is in 5 days someone watch the a&a christmas episodes with me :')

And Ross freaking Lynch is freaking 22 in 9 days. WHAT NO this can't happen he's still innocent fetus austin moon. And then new year's and omg january 10th and omg nov/dec are such stressful months.

But is anyone buying Laura's shoes?? I want to but the heel is too high for me and I'm legit going to fall so I'm really salty there aren't lower heel ones

I'm slowly regenerating my sleep but ik in 2 weeks that'll change cuz school

Steph (yesifeelgoodr5)