Like a Tattoo (Raura)

Chapter 29

Ross's POV

"He had a freaking stroke, Ross," is all I hear echoing in my head as I sprint down the stairs. God damn it, I feel like the scum of the Earth for yelling at Laura.

Once at the bottom of the stairs, I divert my course to the kitchen to pull a large bowl of fruit salad from the fridge, then scoop some of the salad into a smaller white bowl. I cover the bowl with saran wrap and hastily dash out the door to Laura's house.

When I reach her front door, I consider knocking, but then again, I don't think Laura would let me in. I also can't make much noise on this side of the door in case I disrupt Damiano, so the best I can do is try the door myself. Surprisingly, it's unlocked.

I step in and search the living room for Laura's dad. He's situated comfortably in an easy chair with his eyes closed, "Damiano?" I whisper carefully.

He blinks awkwardly and his mouth twitches slightly, then remembers he has to open his eyes to see me, "Oh, Ross," he lifts the corners of his mouth, "Come in."

"Hi Damiano, Ellen," I smile softly as Ellen approaches from the kitchen, "How's it going? Laura told me what happened. I'm so sorry," I speak in a small voice, "I brought you some fruit salad from home. The antioxidants in fruit are really good for your health, especially after stroke recovery."

Ellen nods, "Thank you, Ross. That's very thoughtful," there's an uneven, solemn tone in her voice, "You know, Laura's been sort of out of it this week. It was really hard for her when we were in the hospital," my heart sinks when I think of how horribly I treated her, "Why don't you go upstairs to see her? I know she missed you."

I eagerly smile at them both, filled to the brim with gratitude at my second parents' warmth. Thanking them, I begin making the arduous trek up to Laura's room, praying to God that she'll forgive me. Her stairs seem to go on for an eternity. I both rejoice and repent when I reach the last step.

"Laura?" I call out when I get to her closed door. No response, "Can I come in?" Again, she doesn't respond, "If you don't say anything, I'm coming in."

I hear a shuffling of feet, but no words. So be it.

I turn her doorknob and push the door open. I've done this thousands of times, but I've never been as nervous as I am now. Once the door is opened, I see Laura standing on the other side of the room, near her window. Her arms are folded over her chest, and the frown she wears is relentless. Everything about her body language is trying to tell me to leave, but inside, I know she doesn't want me to. Her eyes are pleading for me to stay.

My voice gets weak when I see how fragile she looks, "Why didn't you call me?" I speak gently to let her know I'm not mad anymore, "Something like this is way too hard to go through on your own."

I step towards her cautiously, trying to gauge how she's feeling. My approach is slow, and it's almost as if I'm asking for her permission. Laura looks at me lost, almost helpless in a way. When I finally stand in front of her, I catch her teeth biting down on her bottom lip so it doesn't tremble. That's my cue, so I instantly take in a sharp breath and comfort her in the only way I know how.

Laura settles into my embrace soon enough, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I feel her muscles unclench, "Talk to me," I coo in her ear gently.

Her soft hold around me relaxes. It's painful to see how upset she is, but at the same time it's relieving that I'm the one she trusts most to be her shoulder to cry on, "This is so hard," she says, her voice cracking from our yelling.

My heart thumps hard against her ear, "Your dad's going to be okay. I know stroke recovery is tough, but he's strong. He'll get through this," I add in, "You will too."

Laura lets go of me and walks away to sit on her bed, signaling that I join her, "I've never had things this hard before," she begins. From the tone in her voice, I know she'll need me to stay the night, whether or not she'll openly admit it, "Ever since we were in high school, it wasn't hard for me to get good grades. Neither was learning new dance routines," Laura stares at her hands in her lap, as if expecting for something more to be handed to her, "I've never faced hardship like this. I don't know how to handle it. I know my dad will be fine, but what if something terrible like this happens again?"

She stares up at me, waiting patiently for my response because she trusts me to tell her the truth, "Laur," I reach out for one of her hands, "My entire life, hardship has been all that I've had. I got good grades in high school, too, but I had to work for them. The same goes for me now in college, as I'm trying to get my master's degree, and later when I have to worry about finding a job and a place of my own."

Laura nods empathetically, obviously having never experienced the distress of the uncertainty of the future. Nevertheless, even though she hasn't been through what I have, I'm thankful to have her because of how understanding she is. Laura's always been wholeheartedly devoted to our relationship, whether romantic or platonic, and I've always loved her for that.

"Nothing worth having comes easy to me," I push her to understand, "Except when I'm with you."

Laura opens her mouth slightly in confusion, wanting to ask what I mean, but I answer her before she can speak, "There's no uncertainty when I'm with you," I squeeze her hand to bring us closer, "All I am when I'm with you, is happy. I'm not a student, not untalented, not someone trying to find a job. I'm happy. I don't ever want to lose that with you."

Laura gives me nothing but confusion and loss as she tries to decode my words. We're so different and disconnected separately, since our separate life experiences are so distinct. Usually, Laura's the upbeat light in my life who's always on top of things, whereas I can only attempt to mimic the confidence she has.

Now our roles are reversed and she needs me. I've been through hell to get to where I am now: to get the grades, to get into college, and to win over Laura. A family emergency like this, or any hindrance of sort, is a new for Laura. It's her hell.

She needs me to reassure her. I've been through hell and I know what it's like to be in her position, "So yeah, I know it's hard," I state plainly, "But you make it easier for me. I mean, although I have to read as many as three books a week, every week of the quarter, on top of all the writing assignments, bottom line, I think of you, and I think of us, and I think of how much you trust and care about me, and it doesn't seem so hard anymore."

I see a solemn grin creep onto her face as my words begin to fall into order, "Laura," I plead, "Give me the chance to make you feel the way I do. I love you. It's not hard for me to know what I want. I want you. The only question is, do you feel the same?" I breathe in deeply, careful to pronounce every word perfectly, "Can you trust me to make you feel that way?"

***

hey y'all so I finished s2 of caos and I think I'm gonna cry/pass out/other because it's so good and I am shooketh

also I hate jaz ha I've said that too many times before but lol dw I'm not actually attacking her on social media or anything so don't @ me

ap testing next month is gonna break me haha pray for me pls

peace I'm out

Steph (yesifeelgoodr5)