The Tragic Ending of Us

18-1-18

"You make me nostalgic for a love that hasn't ever happened yet."

Video games from the 00's. McDonald's happy meals. Waking up on Christmas morning. Watching movies in the theater. Seeing Disney World. Nostalgia is a feeling. By definition its a sense of home. A sense of,"This is something I could never forget because I've never known anything else."

We weren't nostalgia. We were going down in a blaze of glory. We were shoving each other down stairs. We were launching food at each other. We were silent tears of laughter during exams. We were loving every moment because we were together.

But we were also heartbreak. We were silent breakdowns because"I'll be damned if he sees me crying again." We were unheard of heartbreaks because"He thinks it doesn't affect me anymore so I'll act like it doesn't." We were trying to stay together so much; we never realized the other was gone.

We were a love that never got to happen. We were a flower never to bloom. We were a never-ending winter. We were a bleeding heart; couldn't be fixed without irreparable damage. We were the lost never getting found.

You were a lighthouse in a rough sea. You were a bridge in the drizzling rain. You were a rock steadying the ground I walked. You were a moon in the scary night. You were a sun on a cloudy day. You were proof that love wasn't perfect.

But you were also the winds creating the rough waters. You were the storm clouds causing the drizzling rain. You were the rattling thunder causing my world to shake. You were the dark haze covering the stars each night. You were the creator of the gloom on a cloudy day. You were proof that someone was incapable of love.

We were a love that never got to happen. We were a flower never to bloom. We were a never-ending winter. We were a bleeding heart; couldn't be fixed without irreparable damage. We were the lost never getting found.

I was a sailor finding their way home. I was a runner during a drizzling rain. I was a shaken walker; trying to steady myself. I was a wolf; needing the moon to calm my ever-beating heart. I was a sad person; needing the sun to lighten my life. I was proof that people can be saved by love.

But I was a sailor lost at sea for months. I was a person who loved the way the sky cried. I was a seismograph; rating the shake of the Earth. I was a lover of losing control on the nights I shouldn't have. I was a still a sad person afterwards. I was proof that someone was incapable of being loved.

We were a love that never got to happen. We were a flower never to bloom. We were a never-ending winter. We were a bleeding heart; couldn't be fixed without irreparable damage. We were the lost never getting found.

18 January 2018

//songs listened to writing this chapter//

Bruises- Lewis Capaldi

Neptune- Sleeping At Last

Oblivion- Bastille

//13th chapter- January 18, 2018//

A.N) Hi, so I'm aware it's been awhile and I do apologize. I've had a bit of a rough past month and writing hasn't been at the forefront of my mind. I don't want to go to into detail as almost 90% of it is all personal issues that will be reflected in my writing from here on out. I use all my experiences to help write as forcing these kinds of things make them a bit rubbish in my mind. I kept trying and trying to write over the past month and I just couldn't do it. I hope things get better from here on but if they don't then I apologize in advance. Thanks.