Theta Twelve

Almost the Same

Two bright flashes of orange lit up an otherwise dark room. In just seconds, Rimmer and Aria rematerialised. Both of them were disoriented and confused to varying degrees; Rimmer was worse off, staggering around and feeling lightheaded.

Rimmer tried to force his his thoughts into some semblance of order. He attempted to look around in the darkness to no avail. "Any idea where we are?" he asked while he still tried to make sense of things.

"I'm not–" She stepped on an empty aluminium can and picked it up. From what she could tell, it was a white can and there was a patch of leopard print on it. Leopard Lager? "I think we're still on Red Dwarf. Nothing's changed." she said, not sounding too sure of herself. Aria gave a vocal command to turn the lights on — nothing happened. Maybe a different way? She tried saying the command multiple ways but still nothing happened.

Rimmer uttered a single word in a slightly embarrassed, disappointed tone. "Ah..."

"What?"

"I haven't appointed you as a registered crew member yet; you can't give vocal commands."

Rimmer then gave the command and all the lights switched on, at which point they realised they truly were still on Red Dwarf — more specifically, the sleeping quarters' shower room. Aria would have wondered why there was a can of Leopard Lager in the shower, but she knew Lister far too well to expect anything less.

"This is the second time I've been warped into a shower. I'm just glad no-one was using it this time." Aria said, not realising she'd actually spoke.

"One of these days you'll have to tell me some stories about what you used to do."

While she loved to share with him about most things, Torchwood was off limits; it was too unbearable to speak of. "I really don't..." she murmured as she started to leave to look for the rest of the crew. "C'mon, lets go find the others."

———————————————————

Lister had been unconscious for the last five minutes. The sound of his heart pounding in his head forced him to come to. Upon opening his eyes, he saw that everything was flipped upside down; it was immensely upsetting. What the smeg is going on? he thought. Eventually, he saw someone coming up to him, someone with slightly bulky legs and a waddle in his step.

"Kryten? Is that you?" Lister asked apprehensively.

"Mr Lister?" He rushed over to him. "Are you alright?"

"I don't think so, man," he replied, his voice somewhat sped up from panic. "I don't like this. Everything is upside down in this universe, even you!"

"Er, sir, nothing is upside down except for you."

"You wha?" Despite being dubious, Lister glanced down at his feet. Somehow when he arrived, his legs got caught in between the guard railings for the stairs and hung there, upside down. "How the smeg did that happen?"

Kryten hurried to help him as best as he could. He he pulled him by the arms multiple times; each time Lister would let out a groan that got louder with each tug. Finally, after many wrenches, as well as an apology and a fair warning that left the scouser confused, with one swift yank Lister was freed. He landed flat on his back with a loud thud.

Kryten grimaced at the noise, feeling every bit of the pain Lister had felt. "I did warn you, sir."

As he got up he dusted himself. "Yeah. Cheers, Krytes," he muttered. He looked around the area perplexed, then a look of recognition donned on his face. "Hang on, this isn't another universe. We're still on Red Dwarf."