Theta Twelve

Playing Catch-up

"Cat, we've been all over this stairway at least a dozen times. Nothin' is smeggin' 'ere!"

The two had spent almost ten minutes searching for the mystery smell to no avail.

"Just five more minutes! I swear there's something."

Air hissed through the bored scouser's lips. "Fine. Five more minutes, but any longer and I'm leavin'. I wanna continue me lunch."

"Self, self, self..." he muttered as he carefully peered for the unknown smelly thing.

Yeah, I'm the selfish one. "Ya know, you didn't finish your lunch either. Why aren't you complainin'?"

"Cuz, the smell would drive me nuts if I just left it. I wanna enjoy my food, not get distracted."

Lister scoffed. "Cat, you'd get distracted just looking at yerself in the spoon."

"Please! That is just a myth– SPACE WEEVIL!"

Cat pounced onto a pile of scrap metal where he caught sight of the weevil that was scurrying around. He was determined to grab it once and for all.

From the middle of the stairs, Lister stood and gestured to the area above the unruly ricker. "Careful, man. That section isn't too stable."

That was all the scouser could get out of his mouth before Cat bounded toward him, chasing after the little vermin. Lister had the thought to jump over the railing. It was nearly flawless, except for the laces of his boots getting caught on something. The weight of his body caused him to swing backwards, and his head was harshly whacked on to the underside of the stairs, knocking him out in an instant.

Cat was too busy to notice his human doing stupid monkey-like things. So busy that he didn't realise the weevil had scampered into a small hole in the wall. The very same wall he was about to hit himself.

"My face!" he anguished. "I think I broke my beautiful face!" The sound of creaking snagged the felisapian's attention. "What the hell?"

Soon after, the low hanging ceiling panels above him let loose a groan that rivalled Starbug's old engines and caved in on top of him. He fell unconscious as well, leaving just Aria and Kryten the only two awake.

************************

Having gotten bored with waiting, Aria had gone across the corridor and grabbed a book from her quarters. Star Wars: Dark Disciple. She was turning over a page when she heard a groan coming from the hologram. "Oh, hey. Arnie? Can you hear me?"

Slowly but surely, Rimmer came around. Bleary eyes struggled to focus on anything, pupils contracting and expanding as they adjusted to the light. Even still, he could tell he was not in an optimal spot. He blinked rapidly, hoping to clear the scenery around him. It did, only just.

Aria set her book down on the table. "I was wondering if you'd wake up."

He felt beneath him and realised he was literally on solid ground. Bit by bit he lifted his head and scanned the room. "What happened to me? Why am I on the floor?" he wondered with such uneasiness.

"You fainted."

His eyes narrowed. I did? I can't remember any stressful– Wait! Rimmer shot right up like he had been stung in the backside by a bee. "I'm gonna kill that stupid droid!"

He wasn't going to do anything except stumble about like a drunk person. All at once he was fraught for another reason. He was hit with vertigo but without the spinning; he felt as though he constantly falling backwards, despite standing mostly still.