Theta Twelve

Donna Harkness-Rimmer

The four of them tiptoed into the Science Room, and, as per Aria's request, didn't disturb Rimmer in any way.

Kochanski was the first to hold Donna, gently cradling her in her arms. "Oh, my God, this is amazing!" she hushedly exclaimed.

Cat intently studied the newborn child and shuddered. "Yeesh! That is one ugly monkey!"

Lister slid him an incredulous look. "What're you talkin' about, man? She's cute," He pulled a funny face to get her attention.

"Bud, she could fly with those ears!"

"I think she's adorable," said Kochanski while she lightly rocked her back to sleep. "Looks just like her dad."

"Yeah, that's the problem."

Aria stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at the Cat. "If you're gonna be like this, you can leave."

"You mean I had the option?" Cat bolted for the door. "Later!" Then he belted out a short cat-like howl, for which everyone shushed him.

Aria glanced back at Rimmer, who was still conked out. She was relieved. "I swear to God, that guy..." Her muttering voice trailed off, knowing that staying annoyed at someone like him had about as much worth as a gumball machine ring; none whatsoever. She relaxed a bit more and eyed Donna. "She's a quiet one, eh?"

"I'll say," Kochanski chortled. "I've never seen anything like it."

Aria shrugged. "It's only a baby."

"Yes, except it's a hologrammatic baby. It's a huge deal. It's never happened before."

"And for a good reason, ma'am," Kryten chimed in. "Nevermind how unbelievably impossible it is for a hologram to get pregnant in the first place, holograms are computer-simulated versions of those who have passed on, and... well, who wants a synthetic reminder of their deceased child?"

Lister gazed at Kryten with a deadpan expression on his face. "Don't be so cheerful, man. I can't take it."

"I'm sorry sir. I was just–"

"Well maybe just don't!" Aria snapped, still keeping her voice at a low level. "It happened — get over it."

"That's just it, ma'am. It shouldn't have happened," Kryten said, his voice unit sharpening in tone. "She shouldn't exist."

"You hear that, Donna?" Lister asked. "Such loving, kind words from uncle Krytes."

The mechanoid grimaced, his rubber head shrinking into his neck hole. "Perhaps that did come out wrong, sir, but you know what I'm saying.

"Yeah, but maybe next time don't say it out loud."

"Maybe Kryten should leave, too," Aria ground out; her jaw clenched tight.

"Nah, that's okay," Lister said with a dismissive brandish of his hands. "We came, we saw, let's all vamoose."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Besides, I think I seriously need to go over brutal honesty with Kryten again."

"I don't believe we've covered that one in Mech Dev yet, sir."

Lister curtly nodded. "Ah, that makes sense then," He waved the mechanoid to the door. "C'mon, man."

Before Kochanski left with them, she turned to Aria and, in a flustered and faltering way, said, "Shout, if you need anything. Well, don't shout, per se. I mean, not with the–"

"Krissy," Aria's eyes narrowed a moment, musing on whether or not she crossed a line. "Can I call you that?"

She chuckled and attempted to hide her blushing face. "You can call me anything."