Honey Brown

Chapter 11

When I returned from the gym, I took a long, hot bubble bath. That's the last time I work out while angry, I promised myself as I gingerly lowered my body into the sea of bubbles. My muscles were going to be mad at me in the morning. I allowed myself time to think while I soaked. After recalling my time spent with Kenny, I realized that my behavior could have come across as flirting.

Damn it, always have to be so damn nice, I scolded myself.

As I thought more about it, I had to admit to myself that while my mind tried to deny my attraction to her, my body told a different story. It scared the living daylights out of me.

Does this mean I'm attracted to women? I don't feel this way about any other woman, though, I asked myself. I needed to talk to her. But first, I had to work some things out with myself.

The following Wednesday, I was at the bank doing a final review of the paperwork for the new cake shop when I received a text.

Hey, do you have a moment to talk?

It was from Kenny. I was happy she was talking to me again, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to have this conversation. I excused myself and answered her.

Sure, what's up?

She called me shortly after.

I took a deep breath and answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey Liv, how are you?" she asked me. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her smooth voice.

"I've been okay. How are you doing?" I replied.

"I'm better, now that I hear your voice," she said. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. "Are you free later to talk?" she continued.

"Yeah, I'm finishing up a meeting, and I should be home in about an hour," I told her.

"Cool, I'll let you know when I'm on my way," she answered.

"Okay, I'll see you later," I said as we ended to call.

I quickly signed the lease, concluding the meeting, and rushed home. I was restless, and didn't know what to do with myself until she arrived. I was pacing back and forth in my living room when she told me she was on her way. I felt my stomach turn. I continued pacing as I tried to determine what I wanted to say to her.

Suddenly, my doorbell rang. I don't think I can do this. I began to panic.

Just breathe, I told myself as I opened the door. I froze as our eyes met.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," I replied. We stared at each other for a moment. The corner of her mouth jerked upwards. "Can I come in?" she asked.

"Yes, sorry," I moved aside. "Let's go in the kitchen," I suggested.

The kitchen has always been a safe space for me, and I figured there was plenty of room, in case I needed to maintain a safe distance between us. She leaned on the refrigerator, as I stood across from her. An awkward silence fell between us as I fidgeted with my hands, avoiding her stare.

"I apologize for the way I've been treating you," she started. "I should have handled your reaction better. But I'm not sorry for kissing you," she said. I met her gaze.

"You already know I like you Liv, and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like there's a mutual attraction between us," she finished. I looked away. I felt like she was able to hear my thoughts.

"Kenny," I paused, searching for the right words. "I've had some time to think about whatever this is between us, and what this means for me. Honestly, this whole thing scares the hell out of me." I hadn't noticed that she had begun slowly walking towards me. Instinctively, I took a few steps backwards.