Winternight Reviews (CLOSED)

The Death Dreamer

Book name: The Death Dreamer

Author: @Loshaii

Review done by: Ginvera24

~

S U M M A R Y

First thing's first, I love the cover. It's simple and beautiful, and just perfect with an aura of mystery.

But the summary, well, it's really bad. You should really consider rewriting a summary that actually entices readers enough to click on your book, I mean, sure, it has everything in it, but I kinda get the feeling like you're not actually trying your best at this point of time.

Yes. A pretty little cover. But readers do judge your book by it's summary too, so go write a BETTER SUMMARY.

What I'm saying is, you're probably an amazing author, with stories flaunting perfect grammar and all, but NO ONE, absolutely no one will actually KNOW until they click on your book.

And you need an amazing summary to MAKE those readers click on your book.

T H E R E S T O F Y O U R B O O K

Can I just say, that I loooveeee that banner~~~

*okay, Ginny, stop being creepy*

"Dylan hyperventilates, every bone in her body freezing as she took sharp, jagged breaths." PLEASE, OH PLEASE GET THE TENSE RIGHT. It's not a good first impression, friend.

Okay, I'm really confused here. So apparently there's this guy that died right before her eyes, and, well, she's next or something?? I mean, in reality, I've always had dreams where I'm either watching scenes unfold before my eyes, or playing a part as someone. Hmm, correct me if I'm wrong, but, is she doing the two things together? Well, I guess it's possible that I'm mistaken. *shrugs*

The style of your writing is pretty......unique. You're taking a simple word, then moving to describe the scene......WOAH. WAIT. UGH WHAT......since when was she awake?? Unless you're telling me that Dylan's eyes are closed and she calling someone with her eyes closed......HAHHAHHAH.

Okay look, do you have a problem referring to Dylan as Dylan? I mean look, from "She slides the paintbrush across......" to "......'Now get off my patio.'", you're referring to Dylan as 'her', as that's getting on my nerves......ughh. An, also, what DOES her house look like?

Wait what, how did she change from, "did he really think a gun would intimidate her" to "......but her anxiety is screaming loud, panicked screams at her" bleh. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTER TO FEEL, FRIEND. Is she feeling afraid now? Or is she serene and calm? BUILD YOUR CHARACTER PROPERLY!!

"You will not draw your god-damn pistol at me or so help me God (??) I will step down onto that porch and break your fingers." *spits out water* Grammar and wth are you talking about??

I spy grammar mistakes and plenty of incorrect tenses.

The second chapter is SOOO much better than the first one, though it still has it's fair share of mistakes. I like the foreshadowing here, it leaves me with a ton of questions, like, who is this sheriff? And, what did he do?

OML OML OML, WHERE'S THE UPDATE?!?!? I WANT MOREEEEE~~

O V E R A L L

You should really edit your book, there are tons of mistakes that make some parts of your book unreadable. Other than that, there's a strange force that pulls me though your book, weird enough. You should also try adding a little more descriptions, and please, oh, please, your character build-up is very important, so work on that. Right now, Dylan seems like a hot-tempered girl who gets fired up easily, and does not know how to control her emotions --- and is that what you wanted her to be like?? Think.

G R A D E

Writing: 3/5

What I liked: 2/5 (at most)

What I did not like: –3 (this is for her character build-up)

Total: 2/10

Could've done better. This book has a lot of potential.