Winternight Reviews (CLOSED)

His Scarred Beauty

Book name: His Scarred Beauty

Author: @Purple_Writer_

Review done by: Ginvera24

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S U M M A R Y

Simply speaking, the picture has no whatsoever relation to the entire story. First reaction when my eyes skimmed the first line: Oh boy, another cliché story. Yea, let's see, some random pretty girl (that know one knows, and in this case it's no glasses, but ACTUAL hoods) mixed with some bad boy, meh. It's like, like the SO NORMAL type of shit with a ignorant bitch and a playboy bastard. (Sorry teen fic lovers, but it's not my thing.)

I have another question. "...or even what she looks like..." how does she get by at least three years of school without being noticed? That makes no sense, Friend.

Oh, and, sorry to break it to you but, the only reason why your book has been climbing the charts is because of the constant update spam. Yes, and probably that update is the only thing that's made a good impression on me now.

OOOO, and do those notes sign off with ~A? I'd really like to know.

P R O L O G U E

This is literally the seventh book I've read that started with blood. "My head spins as I get to my feet, a ringing in my ear." Whaa — a RINGING IN MY EAR? Fragments. Shouldn't it be 'the shrill ringing in my ear increasing tenfold' or something? And shouldn't it be 'got'?

"Pain overcame me from everywhere...A yelp leaves my lips at the pain that fills me." Is pain the only word to describe your agony? I'd be screaming, clawing and writhing on the ground if I were you. Try to use words that describe your emotions, your THOUGHTS that shows me that you're in pain, instead of telling me directly.

?? How are your eyes not blinded when there's blood on 'em? Okay, right now I am witnessing a major history event. Well, at least I think I am. Present, past, present, past. STICK TO ONE TENSE PLEASE. THERE ARE TOO MANY ERRORS FOR ME TO CORRECT. I AM NOT A PROOFREADER. I REPEAT.

You do not want an angry Ginny that had just suffered from her Netball games.

Wait......you just said her eye wasn't bleeding. I'm dead confused now.

A B O U T  Y O U R  B O O K

I. Have. No. Idea. So lemme get this straight. She wakes up, tries to draw a guy, and goes for ice cream. Dude, that's just wrong. How is she even SLEEPING in school?!?! What the freak is happening right now......

Your English is bad. Very bad. I mean, again, you're either really young, or English isn't your first language. I'm going with really young here. Okay. I'm going to guess. Broken English, Chinese last names. You're definitely Asian. Did I get that right? No?

I have really nothing to say except of how this story reminds me of Pretty Little Liars and cringe-y English topped out with a bag of cliché.

O V E R A L L

Lmao. Obviously written by someone too young or someone who doesn't take English as her first language. Get an editor. A proofreader. Add more descriptions, thoughts, and anything that indirectly shows her true emotions. You're tell more that showing, and that's bad.

G R A D E

Writing: 1/5

What I liked: 0/5

What I did not like: -1 (meh, it's a negative)

You're definitely in the middle of writing your story. Start over. It's just a review, so it's your choice to listen to my advice, or just ignore it.