Book name: The Last Philosopher
Author: @NickfEast
Review done by: Ginvera24
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S U M M A R Y
Okay, let's start with the summary. Hmm, well, it's fine and all, but......oh, who am I kidding, the summary is bad, REAL BAD. I don't feel anything interesting that pulls me to read this book. No attraction. AT ALL. It's dull and uninteresting, but at least it provides some information about what the book is about, so it isn't the worst I've seen —
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, is that actually written in your summary or am I just seeing things?!?! *rubs eyes*
"Opted for insomnia" ??? Friend, I think you need to search the dictionary for the definition of insomnia.
Here, let the mean girl help.
Insomnia: also known as sleeplessness, insomnia is a SLEEP DISORDER where people have trouble sleeping.
Okay, let's say that you can actually "opt" for insomnia in this world (LOL), and even if this sorcerer manages to opt for insomnia, it would lead to him having cases of daytime sleepiness, really low energy, and a damn bad mood to begin with.
So do we see that in the prologue, the first chapter, or the second?
No, friends. Sadly we don't. In fact, his mind isn't even clouded when his damn energy is like, zero, and guys, at this point of time, I'm speechless.
P R O L O G U E
Hmm, here we go.
"In the imagined dimensions" ...
No pull. Nothing. I don't feel ANYTHING that convinces me to read the rest of the book, so in other words, it's BORING. Sure, I don't usually see prologues in high fantasy books that focuses on galaxies and how that particular fictional world is born, but I'd rather read a book which starts with something like......"We are the children of the universe." ya know?*continues to read.*
Okay, so, I don't know if you are aware of the fact that Wattpad houses a great number of teenagers from the age of 10-15, and that the majority of these students DO NOT take English as their first language, because the words you put into creating your masterpiece would be pretty difficult for an average Wattpad user to understand, assuming he or she is really bad in English.
Now. Reading your prologue, something tells me that you should try writing a Science Fiction story. Because, right now, I feel like I'm reading a sci fic book, lmao. I mean, sure, some fantasy stories do start with how the world is born and all that stuff, but reading your writing and the particular vocab you use, it feels more sci fic than fantasy.
*reads more of the prologue and spits out coffee*
WAIT WHAT. Now it sounds like a documentary about galaxies and the secrets behind their existence. And trust me, that documentary is as interesting as the floor beneath my feet.
OOOO.
Right, I'm done with the prologue, and overall, I guess I'll have to change my opinion of your writing due to your ending. And I'll be lying if I said that i didn't enjoy the ending :)
The ending of your prologue is really special, and it surprised me, really. Unlike the start of your prologue, it leaves readers wanting more, and that is what PULLS a person through the book. I understand that many great authors actually hate cliffhangers because they've actually experienced some really bad ones before and believe it or not, that actually stopped them from obtaining views as they lacked the plot too pull the reader through the book, so if you are one of those authors, my advice is to try dropping one or two cliffhangers at the start of your book, so the reader would get the gist of what you're trying to tell him or her as they are reading your story.
T H E R E S T O F Y O U R B O O K
So I'm going to be honest about it, I lost interest at the third chapter.
Let's start with the opening sentences. Honestly, I LOVED the opening sentences, but the opening PARAGRAPH in whole, I couldn't really say much about liking it.
Let's take chapter 2.1 as an example.
It's too......fast. I mean, look, you showed us what was meant to be a desert, then told us that some old man was going to bring it down with a bomb?!?Furthermore, your descriptions are great, but it's too much. You put in a ton of thoughts and descriptions, yet it's lacking something — EMOTIONS and ACTIONS. Sure, you've led me through some amazing writing, but what did he actually do? What did he feel about his future actions? Most importantly, what was his name, god we don't even know the main character's name? Think about it.
The same thing about descriptions and thoughts can be said for the other chapters, though it gradually improves. Try adding more dialogue into your story too.
O V E R A L L
An interesting plot for a fantasy book, but style of writing can be improved by cutting down on descriptions and thoughts, and by adding more paragraphs on what your character feels. Also, cliffhangers are essential in leaving readers wanting more.
G R A D E
Writing style: 2/5 (It's a fantasy book, friend)
What I liked: 3/5
What I did not like: – 2
Total: 3/10
I think you should try writing a book of sci fic genre.
YOU ARE READING
Winternight Reviews (CLOSED)
Acak(FREE REVIEWS) CLOSED......for those who has requested a review before I closed this book, my updates will be really slow. I hardly sugarcoat your books in my reviews, and I'll say what I don't like and what I like about your writing, so if you're...