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14

14

miles

"i'm just going to stop by char's real quick. to check up on that bastard." i joke into the line, saying goodbye to mary and hanging up.

as i turn down her street, i note another car in her driveway, causing my skin to bounce. "the hell?" i whisper, pulling behind the vehicle.

quickly getting out of the car, i head to the front door, gnawing on my lip before crossing the window. i scrunch my nose and furrow my brows.

through the window, my vision was blurry until i focused harder. seeing charlie and alexis just sitting on the couch, watching the television.

this isn't what got me- what got me was that charlie had her head in alexis' chest, cuddling up to her as they jumped up at the sight of the tv.

charlie had been wearing my hoodie, fitting around her body as she chewed on the strings of it, smiling as it rested between her lips.

though the sight was golden, the full picture was not.

my heart ached.

no, we weren't official, but it shouldn't matter. i stood there, tears welling up as i stared longer. alexis moving a strand of hair from the other girl's face. charlie looked up at alexis as she came to dive into her lips.

confused and conflicted, i swear to myself. clenching my jaw as i turn around, heading to my own car while tugging at my hair.

slamming the door as i got in, drying my almost fallen tears and started up my car. i drove off, heading down to someone else's house, not wanting anything to do with the girl here anymore.

i don't know why it pained me so much. maybe because it was my hoodie around her, the flowers i had bought her in the vase, or the whiskey in their hands.

i stop at rebecca's house, telling her i was outside. i made sure there was no sign I was crying, my nose was red from how cold it had been. a tad raw from me rubbing it.

i get out and prepare myself to walk up to the door, pounding my cold fist on it as a knock. i shiver, my breath visible. "miles!" she shouts with a flavor of mint falling from her tongue.

i smile and shyly wave, her moving to invite me in her house. i walk in to the familiar house, staring at the couch before sitting on it. "what brings you by? it's late, i thought you'd be at home or with charlie?"

the name was so easy for her to say, but i just looked down.

"charlie is with alexis, plus i missed you, so much!" i lightly tap her shoulder when she smiled at me, having a small grin on my face too. "it's weird between her and i right now."

charlie

i jumped heavily at the murderous movie that played in front of alexis' and i's face, my body meeting my friend's as she shouts, digging her head into mine.

"turn it off! turn it off!" i screech with a voice crack. "i will piss myself on you!"

her arms wrapped around me under the blanket, "i don't want to!" alexis stared at the tvthen at me, making me slightly uncomfortable with the stare; more of a gaze miles would give me, except he would smile and pull me closer.

"thanks for coming over," i say, pulling my head up so i could gnaw on the hoddie's strings. "i saw a picture of andie and-"

"of course, charlie." she said, wrapping her arms around me tightly and pulling my glass of whiskey to me. "you're my best friend and you texted me a 911."

she tucked a strand of my brown hair behind my ear, making me shiver from the cold touch of her finger tips; miles' hands were warm and gentle, tender lips with a scrunched face as he would kiss my cheek.

i shyly smile, not wanting to let her continue. "i knew miles wouldn't know what to do, i couldn't put him through that. not yet."

i turn back to the tvand move over a little; i wouldn't be this uncomfortable with miles. alexis didn't really get the hint, she tilted my chin to her with her frozen hands.

"i know."

alexis closed her eyes, leaning to me; miles wouldn't close his eyes until he got into the kiss, he would melt as soon as his pulled lips met mine.

i thought about miles more, his harmonizing voice that sounded like a tune from a song, his warm and comforting smile, his blue eyes staring with emotion.

his face in my tired hands, his hair that I admired so much. how his lips tasted like strawberry and vanilla, how his embrace made me feel safe, his laugh was contagious.

even at horrible jokes he made for the setting.

i realized that alexis wasn't miles.

i pulled a way from her grip, her looking at me with utter confusion. "i-i just thought-" alexis' words stumbled over each other, me standing up.

i shake my head, putting my face in my hands. i start to panic, what did i get myself into?

i longed for miles' embrace, not finding it here. "sorry, alexis. i just, i can't. i have a something with miles-? i think or something like that. i didn't mean to lead you on."

i whisper on the verge of tears. i sit down in a little ball. i hear her sigh next to me, i just wanted miles here. "i'm sorry." my words slipped from my mouth when i saw her putting on her shoes, leaving me in the darkness alone in my house.

"he doesn't know all of you, charlie." alexis sighed at the sight of me curled up. "he doesn't know about andie, he doesn't know about any of new york, did you even tell him about your-"

"no- of course not, alexis." i whine, feeling the rushing tears at her words. "i can't bear telling him now, i just want it all gone."

"it doesn't work like that."

with that, the door closed and an engine started. did i do wrong for inviting her? i trusted her with everything in my life, was i wrong for it?

soon enough, i was left alone. a shitty movie playing as i'm under the covers, stuck with the taunting smell of miles.

my chest burned and ached, my eyes wet from tears, my arms around my knees that were curled to my chest. i look at my coffee table, the flowers miles had bought me not that long ago, a small whimper falling from my throat.

me feeling guiltier than anything. i knew everything was going to change after this night, i didn't know why, just the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

i pulled out my phone, texting miles and hoping for one back.

( 1-800-WANHEDA )