✓| homeland ‣ m.mckenna

15

tw:
mentions of overdose,
suicide.

15

charlie

i sit up in my bed, my phone awakening me. i hadn't heard anything from miles in a few days- or weeks, after the indecent, although he didn't know, did he?

stuck with the idea that alexis had told him merely everything from new york and he chose the good option of ignoring me forever- props to him.

my phone vibrated, social media blowing up after i had yet to upload a video. i move my short hair from my face, the disgusting taste of liqueur lingering off my tongue.

though the taste made my head hurt, i made it easier to drive me to tears. notice every reason i had been on special meds.

i scrunch my face, tiredly, a small headache throwing over me as well. yeah, alright, I had drank a little too much last night, but i am a grown adult, i can do whatever i want- i felt something come up my throat, something gross and mixed taste.

i rush my body up, holding my mouth until i turned my corner throwing my head over the toilet bowl. i let out a yelp as various of other liquids flow through my lips, my head aching more and more with every move and blink.

maybe i was a little hung over, a little aspirin could cure me soon. or more, i reach my fingers over each pill bottle in the cabnet, knocking some over before feeling one that felt right.

opening the bottle, spilling some pills on the floor. "these were expensive!" i whine, closing the $2 bottle of asprin. "i'm not wasting my money."

i lean down, picking up the few pills on the floor. i've had more than this on a brighter day, easing my mind. i toss the handful in my mouth.

not bothering to read the bottle before shoving the circular pills down my throat, putting the orange bottle back on the counter where it had been before.

i place my hand next to the bottle, my heart began to burn. i gasp for breath, calming down seconds later. i need water.

cupping my hands under the sink and turning it on, the feeling flows through my numb, shaking hands cooling my body. "it's way to early for this."

i look back into the mirror, my eyes shifty and thinking to myself. no wonder all my friends hate me, is this what i look like every morning?

my back hits the door, exhaust taking over my figure as i slide down the wood, hitting my head back as i sat on the tile. why's it so warm in my house?

i spy through the living room from my spot, taking note on the messy covers on the couch. boxes of pizza and takeout piled up in the area.

bottles of wine and beers i wouldn't drink in years toppled over one another, making my head hurt from the sight. i laugh to myself.

"jesus, charlie. what are you doing?" i mumble, my lips growing numb by each second. "you have no one, not anymore."

i talk to myself, "alexis is gone, david hasn't called you in weeks, miles is over it, and andie's dead. you drive everyone away."