"I am teaching you things you will need for your boyfriend one day" , "If you tell anybody we could get in trouble" , "This is normal" these lies he told me made me believe him. I didn't want to go to his house but he would know that I'm not ok with it. What if he gets mad at me? How can I tell him that I'm not comfortable with this. I cant. Then one day things changed from the bathtub to his bed. I was young so we would sleep in the same bed all the time. This time it is in a different way.
It was 11:00 p.m and I was falling asleep. I guess he wasn't tired because I don't think he planned on sleeping. His hand slides toward my tracing my body structure as I lay on my stomach. "Do you wanna know how to help your boyfriend when he get older?" He says, but I don't respond. He told me it was ok to be scared. It was ok if I didn't want to but, I knew it was not true because he cared. He gets up and suddenly I released all the oxygen I held into my lungs. The next thing I knew the lights where on. I had to come up with an excuse as to why I didn't want to. They never worked. That night he didn't want to "teach me" he wanted me to help him. "Hands or mouth " he said reaching for lotion. Oh god why can't this just be over. Why can't at this very molment be with anybody besides you. I wasn't thoe so I had to do what I was told and that I did. I was not proud of myself for not standing up for myself or for telling nobody. My mom knew about Daniel but nobody and I mean I didn't even tell myself about what was happening. This was a secret that would never be told. All because his lies. All because he couldn't be normal and find someone else but, why me. What did I ever do to deserve this. Was god punishing me for something because I don't understand what the fuck could I have done to deserve this. I know people have worse than me, I know but yet somehow my brain always thinks that I have it worse. What can I do? I am only 10 there is nothing I can do , they won't even believe me.
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You Don't Know My Story
Historia Cortashe was someone on the outside. Nobody really knew who she was on the inside. People always assumed she was this perfect girl, but she was the only one who knew the truth
