Flickering Shadows

The Outside (Chapter 7)

THE OUTSIDE

           I HAD RETURNED to my room last night around three, and I was relieved to see that our absences had not been missed. I then slid into bed and pretended to sleep for a few hours.  I longed to be back on the roof with Dylan, my best friend as of right now.  I wanted to ask him every question I could think of, and eventually get to know him inside and out.  I lay there thinking about him, and hoped that he was thinking about me.

           At nine o'clock, I went to my therapy session with Dr. Howard.  I contemplated telling her about Dylan, but I eventually settled on not. If I accidentally let something slip, it would get us both in big trouble. 

           I nodded politely at Jenn as I passed by.  She no longer troubled me when I came in.  We were becoming friends-friends who deeply despised each other underneath it all.  I shuffled down the hall to the last office on the right.  I knocked graciously. "Come in!" Dr. Howard called. 

           Inside I sat in the black leather armchair, and waited for her to start the conversation.  "So, Lucy," she started as she slapped a manila folder down on her desk. "What's up?"

           I really was not in the mood for some conversation dissecting every second of every day since Friday, the last time I had seen her.  I ignored her question and asked my own. "Where's Shelley?"

           Dr. Howard seemed reluctant to tell me; she spoke slowly and cautiously.  "Miss DuBose, I'm afraid, is in the hospital for a drug overdose."

           "What?! Oh, gosh! Is she alright?" I did my best to sound surprised, and I thought I succeeded.

           "She is not faring too well at all, right now." Dr. Howard sighed, and I could see tears brimming in her brown eyes.  "She is on life support, Lucy. It's very unlikely that she will recover."

           "Oh, no." I whispered.  I was not going to cry-I didn't cry anymore-but I was hit with an intense wave of sadness.  My first friend in three months of being here was basically dead. I hoped that she would make it, of course, but I had to prepare myself mentally for when she didn't.  "Can I see her?" I asked, expecting a refusal.

           "Yes, I suppose you deserve to see her. I'll take you myself tomorrow morning." Dr. Howard said with a frown on her face.

           "Alright, thank you."

           "You can go now then.  Meet me back here around nine tomorrow, please." Dr. Howard turned back to her work.

The car ride was not too long-we didn't get there until around ten.  Dr. Howard kept up a steady stream of chatter the whole way.  It was all on her end.  "My mother-in-law is coming to visit next week, which I am dreading.  She's always so critical; there is not a doubt in my mind that she hates me.  Will, my eight year old, has a soccer game tonight.  I hope I make it home on time. He'd kill me if I missed another one.  And Jennifer, my thirteen year old, wants to start sewing.  She has her heart set on being a world famous fashion designer, you see." It has gone on and on until I had wanted to pull my hair out.

           Shelley was in the intensive care unit on the third floor.  I was nervous to take the elevator up alone, so Dr. Howard generously agreed to escort me.  At Shelley's door, she gently clapped me on the shoulder, "Take as long as you need."

           I took a deep breath and let myself in.  Shelley didn't look like Shelley-there were so many tubes and wires coming out of her and connecting her to machines.  This is what being on life support looked like.