Flickering Shadows

Movies (Chapter 11)

MOVIES

After I was removed from the visitation room, I was taken to my room.  Camille was "worried" about me and insisted on coming with.  They gave me some sleeping pills, or some kind of sedative, I didn't know the difference, and I suddenly became very sleepy.  Just before I drifted off I heard Camille telling nurses what had happened.

           "She just went crazy! I was leaning down to hug her, try to get her to warm up to me, and she went bananas! I know we've never been extremely close, but I thought a hug wouldn't set her off. Are you giving her any medication?"

          "We have her on several antipsychotics now, ma'am," said a bored sounding nurse.

           "You should up her dosages."  Camille said critically. She eyed me as if I were nothing more than a piece of gum on her new shoes. Clumsily, I grabbed the first thing my hand came into contact with-a black magic marker-and chucked it at her.  It hit her in the eye, and she cried with "pain".  I said nothing, but my eyes had hatred in them.  In my head I was screaming "Fuck you!" and it was the last thing I thought of before I passed out.

I woke up in the middle of the night, around two, probably.  I bolted upwards and looked around, disoriented.  I needed to see Dylan.  I was about to explode-whether with tears or screams I wasn't sure.  To my surprise, Dylan was slumped over next to me, asleep in his chair using my bed as a pillow.  I quietly whispered, "Hey, Dylan, wake up." I touched his arm softly.

           He turned his head to me, but his gentle snores didn't waver. Without thinking, I leaned down and kissed his forehead softly.  "Dylan..." I whispered again.

           Finally, he woke up.  "Whoa! He said a little too loudly and I shushed him. "Sorry, I was a bit tired."

           "It's fine.  Why are you in here anyway?"

           "Would you rather I leave?" Dylan stood up to go.

           "No!" I cried. "Don't leave me."

           His expression softened.  "I just wanted you to have someone here when you woke up.  I promised to always be here for you I'll be damned if I don't keep that promise."  He murmured, embarrassed by the sweet words that flowed from his mouth.

           "I'm glad you're here.  I wanted to talk to you." I smiled at him.

           Dylan sat back down and I told him everything.  When I finished, tears welled up in my eyes and soon spilled over.  As he had when Shelley died, he came to comfort me.  He pushed me to the side nicely, and lay on the bed next to me.  We were squished, but I had never felt more comfortable in my life.  My silent tears soaked the sleeve of his navy blue, v-neck shirt, but he didn't seem to care.  Dylan played with my matted down hair and hummed a song I was not familiar with in my ear.  "Thank you for this." I said.  "You don't have to."

           "It's what friends do." Dylan stated.

           "Friends get in bed with each other while one of them sobs?" I asked playfully.

           "Nah, only best friends do that."

           I smiled into the darkness and closed my eyes.  I might have been dreaming, but I thought I heard him say, "By the way, your lips are really soft." Then I was asleep.

I woke up late the next afternoon, which surprised me.  I half expected Dylan to be next to me, but of course he wasn't.  Instead, there was his navy blue shirt from last night and a note. 

You've tear stained this shirt twice.

I thought you might want to

Keep it.  Now I can always

be with you.

~Dylan

I claimed a bit of Dylan.  I wondered if he had walked out into the hall shirtless, and when he left.  Maybe he had abs...yum. Was it creepy that I was thinking that about him? Was this what "normal" teenage girls did? Or was this some kind of abnormal, crazy, obsessive behavior? I could not know for sure; I hadn't ever been a normal teenage girl.

           All this fantasizing had made me hungry. I put the shirt and note away under my mattress (where I hid all my stuff that he had given me).  I lumbered down the hall to the cafeteria.  I hadn't eaten in forever; it couldn't be good for my health.

           To my surprise, all the long cafeteria tables had vanished, and were replaced with rows upon rows of metal chairs.  A giant movie screen dominated the back of the room, along with an overhead projector.

           I had missed the whole day, pretty much!  How frustrating!  In less than half an hour the movies would start.  It wasn't an option to miss it, unless you had an intense load of homework to do.  Guess I would be sitting in the back row, thinking about Dylan some more.

           Speaking of Dylan, his stalker came strutting along with Carissa. "Is this going to be too scary for you?" Amanda said in a baby voice as she passed by.

           "Nice head." Carissa noted sarcastically with a smirk.

           I glared after them.  "Nice pimple." I mumbled. Carissa inhaled sharply, put her hand over her chin and continued to walk away more quickly than before.

That night I was sitting in the back like I had predicted.  Dylan was nowhere to be seen.  Maybe he had homework. No, I had never seen him doing schoolwork.  I glanced toward the door; it was clear. The nurses were immersed in the movie.  I decided to make a break for it.  I tiptoed across the room until I reached the door; I slid out stealthily.  No one would miss my absence.

           I stalked around the long hallways looking in every room for a sight of him. Finally, after fifteen minutes of searching, I found him leaving the staff room.  "Dylan?" I breathed. "Is that you?"

           "Yeah." He grumbled. He sounded grumpy.

           Dylan looked jumpy and cross; I couldn't imagine why though.  "What were you doing in there?" I asked him.

           "Oh, um, I was looking for stuff."

           "What?"

           "Some spare vodka or beer or something-not that the alcoholic nurses left any.  This place is driving me crazy-no pun intended-and I wanted something to take the edge off."

           "Oh," was all I could say.

           "Did you want to talk to me or something?" Dylan said, angrily.

           "I was just bored at the movie...and I noticed you weren't there...so I thought I would go and look for you.  I wanted to make sure-"

           "Make sure of what?" he demanded.

           "That you were alright." I said in a small voice.

           "Yeah, well, I'm fine." Dylan snapped.  "Don't come looking for me again, unless I tell you to.  Or you are going to get hurt."

           He stormed away, leaving me alone, confused, and hurt in the darkness.